What The James Charles/Tati Westbrook Situation Says About Society

Recently there was a situation that became very high profile in the YouTube community. Vlogger Tati Westbrook made a video on her YouTube channel entitled Bye Sister … which insinuated that fellow vlogger James Charles was predatory towards straight men and men who were trying to figure out their sexuality. While the situation began from a disagreement over Charles promoting a rival vitamin brand to Westbrook’s and her husband’s vitamin brand, it soon turned into a very serious matter.

 

Videos appeared on the internet from various men who claimed Charles was predatory towards them and fellow vlogger Jeffree Star spoke about Charles being ‘a danger to society’ while various gossip channels on YouTube and media jumped on the band wagon. A social media account even made up a story about Charles touching a boy sexually in a bathroom when he was in school. The latter was later found out to be false. What ensued from all of this was a huge drop in Charles’ YouTube followers and a toxic and overwhelming amount of bullying and trolling online which quite frankly was disgusting. Added into this bullying and trolling was a live video on YouTube detailing the drop in Charles’ followers and the rise in Westbrook’s followers with even more space at the side for live comments filled with hate for Charles and hate towards many of the comments from the minority of supporters of Charles.

This whole thing blew up very fast. My reporter’s brain (and my humane brain) said to me that I had to look into this in an objective way so I looked at the videos to see what all this was about. And I realized that there was nothing concrete in any of it. Nothing to suggest Charles was a predator at all. There was a lot of people saying things but nothing was adding up and I learned that all this hate was coming from people taking what people said at face value. The idea of ruining someone’s career and more importantly their character based on he said and she said stuff didn’t sit well with me.

I am very strongly against predatory behavior and sexual harassment but I am equally against peoples’ lives being ruined based on vicious lies and half truths. There is no harm when you don’t know any of the people involved in a situation personally to look at things from an objective standpoint. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you don’t instantly believe the claims being made against a person. It makes you a fair person and being a fair person is being a good person. I say this because throughout this whole situation even to question things was instantly seen as equal to being a monster who was ok with predatory behavior and sexual harassment and who was disbelieving of all victims of either of the aforementioned.

I have faced predatory behavior and sexual harassment in my life and something was just not ringing true about the claims for me from very early on. There did seem to be a milking of the situation for YouTube views and attention. When you face those things, you feel intimidated by that person and you have two options: you go to the police or you make the very difficult decision (often based on circumstances) to let it go. There isn’t an option 3 which says ‘I won’t involve the police but I’ll go on YouTube’. And if you were to go on YouTube and talk about your experiences the last thing you would do is say the person’s name because you’re intimidated by them. As someone who has faced this, I was very upset to see something so serious being put out there as ‘drama’ and like an unfolding entertainment saga. When you face it, it is very, very frightening and extremely demeaning.

Did I say anything  at the time openly that I actually supported James in the situation? No. And the reason for that was I was a coward. I seen the level of hate supporters faced where their whole personality and integrity was been called into question because they didn’t go along with the party line and jump on the ‘James Charles is cancelled’ band wagon. But thankfully the hate has shimmered down a little bit and I feel I can be open about what I feel because there is a lot this situation says about our society. It has showed that we are very quick to judge people when we don’t know all the facts and that so many of us are so bored that we jump on word of mouth and troll and bully somebody without thinking of the effect that might have on the human being in question and then we wonder why so many peoples’ mental health is bad. One of the main reasons is that so many people are always looking for the negative in another person and any shred of misinformation is like gold dust to them. Is it because it makes us feel better about ourselves? Is it because we’re looking for a ‘soap opera’ in our lives? I’m not perfect. I love a bit of gossip as much as the next person but ‘These two people are secretly a couple’ is very different from ‘This man is a sexual predator’. There is lines and boundaries that we probably shouldn’t cross in our pursuit of entertainment and gossip because these things have huge impact on peoples’ lives and the lives of the people who love and care for them.

 

These are very serious allegations that have been made against James. I’m going to be honest and blunt about this: I do not believe the allegations. That might not be the most popular thing in the world to say but there it is. People will have different opinions and that is fair enough but there is a way of expressing those opinions and in this whole situation in my opinion a lot of people have not expressed those opinions very well. It has become a bullying, trolling and quite frankly cruel exercise altogether which are the traits as a society I believe most of us are trying to get away from. There has also been a very dangerous element in our society exposed here: we quickly believe and destroy people based on what other people say and nothing more. There is a lot of people very nervous about things like this being said about them and with good reason because when an allegation like this is made there is many people who won’t look at it objectively and form an opinion, they will just take it at face value and that is a dangerous culture that we are creating because even let’s leave this situation for a moment and talk in general, people in life have grudges against people and many people will use any angle to destroy someone and it’s a good idea to maybe be a bit cynical that not everybody’s intentions are so honest. By all means support genuine victims of these situations when you have looked at the facts but to believe everything everyone says in situations like this so blindly is incredibly dangerous. Unfortunately and I hate to say it but alluding to someone being predatory is becoming a very popular way to destroy someone so by all means support victims but be cautious to not believe everything. Be open to looking at it from both angles before you decide and I think through doing that things would be a lot less toxic.

This has actually been very ugly to see happening on YouTube and the various internet communications and with that in mind, I just want to end this blog post by saying be kind to each other. By all means be honest about what you feel but you can say it in a way that shows that you do remember you are talking to another human being. Most of us are only trying to get through the day and be the best version of ourselves we can be. Do think emotionally but do think objectively when you need to. I promise you that it doesn’t make you a bad person. Quite the opposite actually. Combine the heart and the head and at least for your own conscience you can’t go wrong. Finally, please don’t send hate to anybody in this post. I think there has recently been enough of hate spread around the place to last a lifetime, don’t yous’?

 

 

 

 

Michael D. Higgins Gets Second Term As Irish President & Blasphemy Is Voted Out Of The Constitution

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On Friday I went to vote in the election and referendum taking place here in the Republic of Ireland.

 

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I voted for Michael D. Higgins in the election who historically became the second President to be voted in as President for a second term via election in the Republic of Ireland. I’m very pleased for him as I find that he seems to b a very nice man, filled with fairness and equality and if fantastic for the arts too. Congratulations Michael D., here’s to seven more years of your Presidency! We love you! 🙂

 

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I also voted Yes in the blasphemy referendum which was to remove blasphemy as an offence from the Irish Constitution because I believe anyone should be allowed say what they feel. By all means when people disagree with anything, voice it, debate it but I don’t think legally anyone should be stopped from saying what is in their head in the first place. If someone wants to debate it then that’s there’s freedom of speech to do so. That sounds fair to me. But thankfully blasphemy was voted out of our laws in this referendum. 🙂

 

So it’s been a busy time voting-wise for us over here in the run-up to Halloween. And in my opinion they were two excellent results which I’m chuffed about. Once again, so proud of my country and the continuing road towards freedom, fairness and equality and our further steps into a future vision of a completely modern Republic of Ireland. 🙂

Woman Racially Abused On Ryanair Flight By Man

 

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I was utterly disgusted by the conduct of passenger David Mesher recently on a Ryanair flight when he racially abused fellow passenger Delsie Gayle just before a flight from Barcelona for Stansted Airport on October 19th.

 

In the vile rant, Mesher, who is white, called Gayle, who is a person of color, “an ugly black bastard” as he was disgruntled that she didn’t move fast enough for him to pass into his seat. He also rambled in his rant by saying,

“Don’t talk to me in a foreign language, you stupid cow. If you don’t go to another seat, I’ll put you in another seat.”

The ugly incident was filmed by fellow passenger David Lawrence. The footage shows Gayle’s daughter Carol Gayle defending her mother and showed another fellow passenger intervening and saying to Mesher that there was no need for his racial conduct.

In the aftermath of the incident, the police in Spain and England have investigated the incident and have spoken to Mesher. He has also said,

“I probably lost my temper a bit and ordered her to get up. I’m not a racist person by any means and it’s just a fit of temper at the time, I think. I apologise for all the distress you’ve had there and since.”

But Gayle has refused his apology saying,

“It’s going to take a long time for me to accept his apology and everything, because I feel very low and degraded for him to call me those names. It’s going to take a long time for me to get over it. I didn’t look at it (the interview on This Morning) because I was crying.”

Her daughter said,

“I’m not going to say anything at the moment because we’ve only just seen ‘This Morning’ – it’s still a lot to take in.”

 

It is awful to see the abuse that Delsie Gayle has went through. I’m just very glad it was caught on camera because otherwise there would be no proof of the incident and nothing would probably be done. I think it’s a disgrace that he was left on the flight. He should have been removed. It is terrible that this discrimination and abuse is still going on and Mesher’s apology is pretty pathetic. When losing your temper, race doesn’t even come into it unless you are racist and he was extremely aggressive too. It is the easiest thing in the world to say you aren’t racist after displaying racist conduct. If you truly aren’t racist, or at the very least certain things in your make-up aren’t or currently aren’t from a racist place, you wouldn’t act in a racist way.

I find it very heartbreaking hearing the pain this incident has caused to Delsie Gayle and it is important to remember that our words can hurt people. Is that the kind of people we are? Do we really want to go out of our way to hurt other people?

 

 

Overnight Fire Occurs At Bray Lakers

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All the buses and building especially the art room and the kitchen have been damaged in an overnight fire at Bray Lakers in Bray, Wicklow, Ireland. The damage was caused by an electrical fault and classes have been cancelled. The building has much smoke and water damage. Minister Simon Harris has been to see the extent of the damage yesterday afternoon and he said,

“Very upsetting day for our community. But we will get through this! Please contact Lakers if you can help at all with temporary venues & transport. An incredible Organisation.”

 

Harris said he would be reviewing the situation on Monday with management. The Minister of State with special responsibility for disabilities, Minister Finian McGrath will also be attending the review.

Bray Emmett’s GAA club has offered its clubhouse as a temporary home for Lakers and another source lent a wheelchair accessible bus.

Founded in 1989, Bray Lakers is a social centre where people, both children and adults, with intellectual disabilities have the opportunity to participate in a wide variety of social activities such as art, music and sport. There is 400 members and 150 volunteers and staff.

 

Finian McGrath said,

 

“This is an awful tragedy and it is absolutely essential any impact to the service is minimised. I look forward to meeting management next week to discuss these matters.”

 

Chairperson Fergus Finlay said,

 

“These buses are absolutely critical for our purposes. All of the buses have been destroyed. The building is definitely in an unsafe condition and we don’t know if our other facilities are usable. We’re out of business now and it’s going to be devastating for our members. We are of course determined to get back up and running as quickly as possible, and we’re going to put out appeals to the local community and service providers around the place for any help we can get with other forms of transport and other venues and so on; just now everyone is in a state of shock.”

 

I live not far away from the Bray Lakers building and it was very sad and shocking to hear about the fire. The main thing is that thankfully no was hurt. The organisation does fantastic work and is a credit to the Bray area.

 

GoFundMe page has been set up to help raise funds for repairs to the damaged caused during the fire.

Buster From Down Wins The Nose of Tralee 2014!

Pet Sitters Ireland held the most fabulous competition The Nose of Tralee for animals around Ireland! Yesterday I blogged about The Rose of Tralee and now I’m blogging to you all about the animal version. As an animal lover my heart was bound to be stolen a million times over!

The eventual winner was the debonair entry from Down Buster while pretty Gia from Kildare was the runner-up. My personal favourite was 3rd placed the unassuming and pretty Kilkenny entry Penny who reminded me a bit of my own dog who I had for 12 years but I liked the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel from Wexford Lulu too. And of course I loved Meath’s Rio, Dublin’s Colt and Wicklow’s Amber. But to be fair I loved all the entries! 🙂

Kate McQuillan, Managing Director of Pet Sitters Ireland said,

“This is a great opportunity for pets of all shapes and sizes to compete to represent their county and become crowned the 2014 Nose of Tralee. We would love all types of animals to enter – not just cats and dogs. There is no reason the 2014 Nose of Tralee couldn’t be a hamster!”

Well done Buster on your win! Well-deserved! 🙂

To see all the entries go to: (Warning: Prepare to aw a lot!)

https://www.facebook.com/PetSittersIreland/app_1447766368830021

Towie’s Harry Derbidge Speaks Out About Anorexia!

Recently I read about The Only Way Is Essex star Harry Derbidge talk about his struggles in his battle with anorexia. It didn’t surprise me because I went through a mild version of anorexia myself and when you do you tend to see the possible signs even though you are only reading about a person in the press. I think he is incredibly brave to talk about it, especially been so young. It’s a major issue to put yourself out there and talk about after all.

Derbidge (20) told Now Magazine,

“I’ve suffered with an eating disorder from a very young age. I was probably anorexic and didn’t know it. That’s how bad it was. I was always OCD about my food. I was so fussy, I couldn’t stand how it looked or smelt. My poor mum had to separate the food at dinner time – she put chips on one plate and the peas on another. I remember gagging, like I was doing a bushtucker trial.”

He says that he realised at 14 that he “had a problem with food.” and says that his mother Karen sent him to a doctor because she was so worried. There the doctor weighed Harry. His weight was 7 and a half stone.

“An average boy should be around 10-12st and I’m 5ft 10in. My chest was just bone.”, Harry said.

He admitted that at this time he “used to cry himself to sleep, just cry and cry and cry. I was very ill. I’d have hunger pains but I used to work through them.”

Speaking about how long he has went without food Harry admitted,

“I once went two days without food.”

He also admitted,

“I’d eat my dinners but whatever I didn’t like the smell or taste of I’d hide behind my tongue. During the meal I’d say I wasn’t feeling well and needed the toilet. I’d throw it all down the toilet from behind my tongue, especially meat, like steak or lamb.”

The reality TV star admitted that he always hated how he looked saying,

“I’ve always hated my look – gaunt and skinny. I remember crying when I looked in the mirror.”

And admitted that it affected his self-esteem,

“I didn’t like myself at the time. Everyone was talking about my weight issues and people made jokes about me. It was so hurtful. I had people saying: ‘Ooh, you gay boy, you skinny twerp.’ But it made me stronger.”

Asked whether it affected his relationships he replied,

“I’m not desperate to have a relationship. At 18 or 19 I remember panicking about even walking into a club as I wasn’t sure of myself. It was so hard.”

He told how he went to a doctor a year and a half ago who weighed him and told him that he was near anorexia. The doctor told him that if he didn’t do something about it he would end up in a clinic.

“That was the moment I was lowest of the low, being told that I might have to be force-fed through a tube.”

Family and friends have been a huge source of support for Harry during this difficult time,

“Amy’s always been there for me. She’s so supportive. And my mum’s the best. I don’t think I would’ve recovered without support from my family. The only people who knew about it were my best friends Sam Faiers, Amy and my mum. I remember going to dinner and they’d help me through it and not try to push me. I’ve been lucky.”

Talking about why he decided to talk to Now about what he had and was going through Harry said,

“Because I feel better for it. If I can help one person, that means a lot. Also you don’t really hear of a male anorexic-it’s very rare. Boys generally love their food.”

Speaking about whether his ex boyfriend fellow The Only Way Is Essex star Bobby Cole Norris knew about what he was going through Harry said,

“He didn’t really know about it. He met me while I was recovering.”

The former couple broke up recently after Bobby found out that Harry had cheated on him with his ex but Harry says,

“I’m single at the moment. We’re not together but we both love each other. What will be will be.”

Harry says that he is now “much better but it’s a long process” and said that he hopes people with an eating disorder will “get help immediately-go to your doctor.”

For help and information go to to:

Eating Disorders Charity Beat:

b-eat.co.uk or call 0845 6341414

Two Fires Break Out In Bray

Three days ago two fires broke out in Bray. One of the fires was in Castle Street and my sister heard the bang from the fire which broke out on Castle Street when the fire broke out around 4:40pm. She was scared that I was near it because I had been finishing off some writing and said I’d catch up with her. Thankfully I wasn’t.

The fire broke out at Everest Cycles and destroyed the shop along with neighbouring businesses which included a hairdressers, a Polish supermarket, a health food store and a clothes shop that my mum was in the day before.

Eyewitness Peadar Smyth, owner of the Four Star Pizza which is nearby, said the owner of the bike shop ran upstairs to tell the man who was asleep at the times

“He got out just in time. But he didn’t even realise the building was on fire.”

A spokesperson for the Wicklow Fire Service told how four units of the Bray Fire Brigade arrived at the scene, including a water tanker from the Greystones Fire Brigade.

A gorse fire also in Bray occurred on the same day.

A fire brigade source said,

“The weather at this time of year means that a fire like this is not particularly unusual. However, we could be up there all night as the wind keeps blowing the fire on to other areas of gorse.”

There was smoke all over the town and members of the gardai were directing us on the roads. I’m just glad there was no one hurt and I hope that the businesses can get themselves back on track but I know that isn’t going to be an easy task.