Part 8: The Inner World Of Bullying

Photo by Dee @ Copper and Wild on Unsplash

This is the eighth part in my 12-part series The Inner World Of Bullying.

A Typical Day In The Life Of Someone Being Bullied

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You wake up, you get ready and go to school. You are in the corridor before classes begin and suddenly you hear this laughter. Group laughter. You already know who is laughing. You have become used to their laughter. You ignore them, walk past them, walk on. You can’t see them now but you can still hear them laughing and shouting the name you are known by and more that you can’t even make out. It is lost in their in-joke, in their idiotic laughter. You sit in class. An introvert who has Social Anxiety Disorder (though you don’t know that part yet) so you don’t talk much. You don’t talk much with the other students or participate much in class discussions. So there is not much to be negative about but still they find everything about you negative. They laugh that you have no friends (you have one but they erase that fact) and they call you “dumb”. You ignore them, that’s become your method. You find on the occasions you have tried to stand up for yourself that it gives them a kick, makes them feel important so you don’t do that anymore. It’s what they are looking for. Break comes. The non-social butterfly that you are reads while relaxing at the radiator. Lost in worlds. A budding writer waiting to take flight. But they come over with their predictable you have no friends act in a bid to clip your wings. But those wings can’t be clipped and you ignore, ignore, ignore. Then they call you smelly, say you have nits. Ignore. You go back into class and while you wait for the teacher to arrive they start making sexual comments about you. You feel embarrassed. There is other children around listening. You are too young to even know what their comments are all about. They are too young to know what their comments even are about but you are uncomfortable. You have never experienced anyone talking about you so vulgarly and now it’s happening in front of everyone and now they are doing sexual gestures and you want the ground to swallow you up but you ignore and you ignore. And you are glad when the teacher comes in and the class can start. Throughout the class they throw things at you. Pencils, paper planes and even pencil cases. You feel awkward and embarrassed even though none of this is in any way your fault. And you ignore. You go to PE class. Great, it’s picking teams day. You are picked last which you don’t take as any huge offence. You aren’t good at sports and you are really quite unfit my classic literature-loving friend. The same kids when it’s a schoolwork or a good behaviour team pick you a lot quicker after all. But it’s an opportunity for those bullies to say you have no friends and to laugh, laugh, laugh. At least it’s not like other days though when you are last and one of them is the team captain who is forced to let you join the team. And while they complain you ignore but think why the hell would you think I would want to join your team anyway but you know let’s get on with it. Either way they laugh and snigger while making sexual comments about your chest and how it jumps up and down as you run. You feel uncomfortable but you ignore all the way through. You begin to walk home and you hear them behind you. The laughter, the nonsense shouting and then the stones come. So you begin to run because a stone to the head you can’t ignore as much. Your heart is beating. You are fearful and you don’t really run and you want to get home to the safety of your house and every time you aren’t sure exactly how dangerous they are but you aren’t willing to stop and take that chance. And you get home and you are safe. You don’t think about them after until the day starts again. What I described here ok may not be an exact picture of any particular day I had in my experiences because we are going back many years and my memory is not that sublime but they are certainly regular things I experienced that would come into typical days. It’s also not a full representation of every person’s experiences being bullied because it is from mine. However a lot of the bullying here is very typical of people’s experiences with variations.

Society’s Profile Of A Person Who Is Bullied

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Many people like to separate people into very easy to understand categories and that is where the problem lies. Generally people see people who have been bullied as victims and they believe that a victim is simply put down all the time and never fights back. They have this idea that the victim in order to really have been bullied has to be kind and never say anything negative about the bully. Once a person who is bullied fights back many people would actually say that person is not been bullied. “Ah now, they are strong enough to stand up for themselves. Sure they are as bad as them. I wouldn’t worry about them.” Strength in the face of bullying comes in different forms. I didn’t fight back in the traditional sense of the word growing up and that seems to be my tactic/coping mechanism every time I have faced bullying and there is a strength and a fight in that too. Some people be the bigger person. Some people show a lot of kindness to the bully. There is strength and fight in those things as well. You are fighting through a difficult situation in your way. The problem is all of those ways are accepted largely in society as correct ways for a person who is being bullied to behave. It’s accepted and people accept the person is facing bullying. It is a lot harder for a lot of people to accept that a person is being bullied if a person fights back in a way where they are defending themselves. If they fight back in a way which is thought of as the traditional way to fight back in society in other words. The definition of bullying is someone coming at you unprovoked and repetitively being cruel and unfair to you. No matter what way you fight back it doesn’t change that fact. Sometimes I think what it might be is that a lot of people perceive someone who doesn’t fight back in the traditional sense to be weak (couldn’t be further from the truth) and they feel good about themselves when they support that person. It also fits their image of what a person being bullied is like and they feel uncomfortable when that narrative is different. Where in reality a true anti-bullying supporter supports people no matter what their coping mechanism is because they are genuinely against bullying and that doesn’t change because the person being bullied doesn’t live up to some societal stereotype.

Society’s Profile Of A Bully

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash

Society doesn’t like bullies but also portrays bullies as powerful. Yes many will say it’s wrong but they will also say a person being bullied needs to “toughen up” to deal with the bully. Of course the irony is that if a person being bullied even stands up for themselves they are ridiculed for it and even made out to be a bully so how society would actually react to someone “toughening up” or actually becoming like the bully in other words would be even worse. A bully is not liked but is glorified. What I mean by that is that a lot of people are more fascinated or interested in what goes on in a bully’s mind than in the mind of someone who has being bullied. I get it when a person wants to know so they can somehow eliminate bullying or help people who are being bullied but there is a lot of people who simply find the bully more interesting. You see time and time again with reformed bullies too how society pushes for “the everyone deserves a second chance” slogan. Which I agree with. But there is not the same emotion and passion from these same people when a person who is being bullied tells their story. It’s more along the lines of it’s sad but it happens a lot of people, they need to get on with their lives sort of thing.

Communicating About Your Emotions Is Good

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Firstly it’s not for everyone and that’s fine. But people who have being bullied or went through traumatic or upsetting things in general have a right to communicate about their emotions. It is actually rather powerful as it makes you feel less alone. I have definitely felt that from hearing people’s stories. You can’t have your emotions in this world though without someone moaning about having to listen to you. Then they call you damaged and broken and everything. Yet if a bully talks about their reformed story they feel very invested. You do have scars. Not everyone is damaged or broken by their experiences but some people are. None of these things are grounds for any decent person to act superior or dismiss that person’s feelings. For example say you have come through bullying and you have none of this baggage, good for you, chuffed for you. But that’s not everyone’s experiences and I think in order to be compassionate to people, we do have to understand that people don’t react to traumatic experiences and experiences which hurt them in the same way. And to bring this whole thing full circle, they aren’t weak because of it.

Conclusion

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Obviously this post is not about the whole of society. There is a lot of people very understanding of the experiences of people who have being bullied and do a lot to try to eliminate bullying. But these are observations I have had about society because it can be a hard experience being bullied without being told how to react and how to feel after too. Bullies are not scrutinised in the same way often. People who have been bullied are often judged more and that should not be the way. I am all for people changing their lives around, good luck to them. But the experiences of people being bullied or how they react should never be judged harshly in order to make a bully feel better about themselves. We have to stop looking for perfect boxes of the bully being a complete villain and the person being bullied being a perfect saint. Because the truth is that both are just people with both good and bad points. With different ways of handling things. But in the situation one is being bullied and the other is the bully and that should never be forgotten when coming to deal with the situation. It’s not a popularity contest. It’s about fairness and a person not being destroyed. It’s about an issue and it’s about life. Just because a person being bullied doesn’t react the way that fits your perfect image or isn’t perfect does never mean that they deserve to be bullied in any way, are ever as bad as the bully or that in any way they “put in for it”.

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everyone! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Music

First up we have a classic from Tina Turner with I Don’t Wanna Lose You. Such a great track. Amazing vocal and the music video with all the different love stories is great and very well put together.

Next we have Kygo featuring Parson James with Stole The Show. A really catchy track with a very creative and storytelling music video.

Next we have Commander by Kelly Rowland featuring David Guetta. Such a great track to dance to and a really cool music video with some great choreography.

Bookkeeping

Next we have part three in the five part Bookkeeping Basics series by the BookkkeepingMaster. This part deals with Double Entry Bookkeeping and the process is explained very well. Really interesting.

Finally we have part four in the BookkeepingMaster’s Bookkkeping Basics series and this part is all about T Accounts. Again very informative and accessible. Very well put together.

Introducing Mitch Reynolds

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Earlier this year, January 12th, I realised I was a trans man. I wrote a poem on here that night that I realised called Overcome and not all but a lot of poems on here in recent times have been about that segment of my life without saying it. I started very heavily questioning my gender last year. I had questioned it before however but not too much so when the heavy questioning came I wasn’t really prepared. I had suppressed it that much I realised throughout my journey. But no matter how much you suppress something it finds a way to communicate with you and I wrote a character called Mitch in a book called After The Fishing Trip. I didn’t realise I was writing myself and letting out this inner desire to be myself through that character. I was unusually emotionally invested in him and I couldn’t explain that but I went with it because it felt so good. Writing has always been a way I express myself because in daily life I’m not great at that so it kinda feels right that writing was a major breaking down of those suppressive walls to get to a truthful state with myself. I didn’t set out writing that book to figure out anything about my gender but clearly now there was a reason I did write it and was so invested in Mitch. Lisa is a character, that’s how I see her. Yes, she has Mitch’s personality for the most part but she isn’t Mitch. She’s a wonderful character who suffocates me but also protects me and while there is a painful side to playing that character there is also a side where she has protected me and I’m eternally grateful to her for that. Because I have needed that but there comes a time and I guess this is the time that I stand on my own two feet and live openly as Mitch. That is one part incredibly exciting and one part incredibly frightening. I want to be this really confident trans man who is like I don’t really give a fuck what anyone thinks but I am not quite there yet. This is all quite new and having lived as a closeted trans man for so long I know how some cis people talk in a group or a two-way conversation when they believe everyone there is cis about trans people. In short it’s not very nice and that’s an understatement. That’s not most cis people but it’s definitely there. I’m not even sure how I would react to someone out in the world being transphobic directly to me and that is scary. I can’t say for certainty that it wouldn’t affect me yet and I’m scared to have my opinion because when I have seen trans people defend themselves they are often made into a villain. Trans people are only nice people if they don’t stand up for themselves is the message I have got from society. I don’t believe that but it’s hard to navigate through it all the same. I’m also pretty scared because I have a lot of questions I haven’t answered in a personal sense about how I see myself completely as a lad. With my chest I’m not sure how I feel. I thought I knew how I felt about my bottom half but that’s got confusing lately too. I do know I want to change my name and gender legally but if I’m honest I’m pretty nervous of the whole process which is probably silly. I know I want to go on testosterone because there is definitely changes like looking more masculine and sounding more masculine that I do want. I am doing these voice exercises and let’s be honest I sound like a gargoyle and that’s not the sound I’m going for. On the other side though, while it is not guaranteed, testosterone could after a while to my knowledge affect my chances of giving birth and I would like to do that. Obviously all us trans lads are different in our stories and for a lot of trans men periods can cause dysphoria. I personally have never felt dysphoria about my periods. The only thing I feel negative about in regards to my periods is how comments like “the woman’s problem” are made and I’m like no, not just a woman’s problem. In my own emotional feelings though I have never minded having my periods apart from back pain, tiredness and headaches. Where is the chocolate and Ben & Jerrys? And weirdly salt. So yes periods and giving birth do not cause me dysphoria and this is where the whole testosterone thing gets complicated for me. I know on paper a lot of people would say 32 is a grand age to become a father but I don’t really want to be yet and look it wouldn’t be responsible to suddenly get pregnant because it might be my last chance if I go on testosterone. The reasoning behind that would be totally fucked up and not fair to my kid or kids. I do have a lot to look into like the whole freezing your eggs kind of thing which I don’t know much about. There is definitely a lot to research and think about in regards to testosterone and for me it feels like a complicated part of the process. One thing I noticed is that people judge the validity of your gender by how you feel about things like this. I did have someone judge my unsureness about surgery as me not knowing who I was yet. Admittedly they were probably looking for an excuse to say I wasn’t but it puts pressure on your answers and I haven’t figured out all the answers yet. However I know I’m a lad and no matter what these answers are it doesn’t change that. I have went on quite a journey already with this whole gender thing and I have found myself in that journey. Before there was a disconnect. I didn’t realise that people felt this deep, wonderful connection to their gender and now suddenly I feel that. I thought when people felt all sexy or beautiful and confident in themselves and it was partly linked to their gender that they were putting it on. Gender to me was just there, nothing to get excited about but what I didn’t get was that they weren’t putting it on. They were truly excited about living their life and part of that their gender in an open way that was true to them. They expressed it confidently and beautifully but my emotions were suppressed and I didn’t understand how that felt. I had no reference to it. I never felt it. I have felt it recently and I’m in love with the feeling. I feel connected to myself in a way I have never felt before. It’s like I’m getting to know myself more each day and it’s brilliant. I am nervous about putting myself out there and being honest in new situations but I also crave it so much because I can’t and don’t want to go backwards now to a hidden state where I’m safe and protected but deeply unhappy and suppressed. I don’t feel brave, I don’t particularly want to be brave but I have to be somewhat brave and that’s terrifying. I don’t know where all of this is going and the most honest I can be is that I’m scared stiff about it. However I have talked a lot about being terrified in this post but I am also the happiest and most content I have ever been. I wake up in the morning with a weight off my shoulders and a feeling of love for myself that makes me walk with ease and joy into the world. I feel really good about myself. I’m not used to that feeling and I have to fight to not let that be destroyed. I owe that to myself. Now that the big secret is out in the open, I can tell you I have another blog about my journey (which I need to update, life has been busy y’all! :-)) and I will link that at the end if you are interested. I have also been doing drag and while drag and being trans are obviously different doing drag has certainly helped me to figure things about my gender out. I have been doing drag as Lisa all my life but doing my drag character Brian helped bring me closer to Mitch. Still neither are Mitch because Mitch is a real person but Brian and Lisa have helped Mitch, helped me in other words, in their own ways. I will link to my Brian stuff too below if you are interested. Ok, I’m signing off. I am glad to get to finally say that on here. There is quite a journey ahead of me and though I’m not ready to go, I am ready to go. Wish me luck! 🙂

My Other Blog:

https://mitchreynolds37621928.wordpress.com/

My Drag Links:

https://www.instagram.com/brianmurphydrag/

https://www.tiktok.com/@brianmurphydrag?lang=en

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everybody! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Social Issues

First up we have episode 38 in Clint Smith’s Black American History series for Crash Course. In this episode Clint speaks about Malcolm X. He also speaks about Elijah Muhammad. A really interesting episode about Malcolm’s life, work and personal changes in his perspective throughout his life.

Next up we have episode 39 in Clint Smith’s Black American History Crash Course series. In this episode Clint talks about The Black Panther Party. Clint speaks about Huey Newton, Bobby Seale, Stokely Carmichael, John Hulett, Alex Rackley, Fred Hampton, Eldridge Cleaver, Kathleen Cleaver, Elaine Brown, Ericka Huggins and Frank Church. Clint speaks about both the positive impact of the work of The Black Panthers as well as the negative aspects like how women were treated. Another really excellent and interesting episode. Really informative.

Relaxation

Next we have a 3 minute cranial nerve exam from Relaxing Sleep ASMR to help you relax and sleep. Really relaxing and a great way to fit relaxation into a busy day.

Bookkeeping

I am still heavily doing this bookkeeping course and so I have been watching a new series to try to help me know what I’m doing! 🙂 Here is episode one in a very helpful and informative series/course by the BookkeepingMaster called Bookkeeping Basics. This episode is an introduction to double entry bookkeeping.

Finally here is episode two in the Bookkeeping Basics series by the BookkeepingMaster. In this lesson we are learning about financial terms. Again very helpful, helps you understand all the kind of business jargon to do accounts.

Part 7: The Inner World Of Bullying

Photo by Dee @ Copper and Wild on Unsplash

This is the seventh part in my 12-part series The Inner World Of Bullying.

Dog Eat Dog World

Photo by Darinka Kievskaya on Unsplash

I learned to be strong due to my experiences being bullied. It isn’t the way you should learn it but it heavily influenced why I am so strong today. I wouldn’t have survived if I wasn’t strong but you don’t start off all strong and tough, ready to take it all on and you aren’t always feeling that way throughout the whole process. It is pretty much thrust upon you and you have no choice so you do what you have to do. There is an image of people who are bullied which you see in mainstream media all the time. It’s the stereotype of a person who is being bullied as weak and helpless. While there is certainly times you feel that way, people who are bullied are some of the strongest people there is. As I said you aren’t left with much choice but to be so. Sometimes mainstream media can accidentally make bullying attractive to a certain type of person. They may not set out to be a bully (although arguably there has to be something in them for them to start bullying) but they see this bully being put across as yes nasty but also the one who holds all the power over this poor helpless victim. Power is attractive to a lot of people. Dog eat dog world and all that. And they think that I’m going to be the bully because what’s the alternative? If I’m not the bully, then I will be the bullied. That’s the mindset. It’s quite toxic really. I was bullied a lot because I was introverted. Being introverted is seen as being helpless and weak often too in mainstream media. The stereotype is that an introverted person is a doormat and I have been advised a lot that if I don’t speak up I will be walked on. That is an incredibly narrow view of my personality. Yes I’m introverted, shy, quiet and I have social anxiety disorder. But when I’m pushed to it, I can stand up for myself. There is a steel there. It’s survivor mentality. But admittedly bullying can chip away at that and I have had to fight and fight to keep that strength going. And I have thus far succeeded. Does that sound weak and helpless to you? In saying that, I shouldn’t have to fight my way through and neither should anyone else. But that’s a perfect world and we ain’t living in a perfect world darlings. In the next section I am going to give you an example of a few statements to watch out for from secret bullies.

Statements To Watch Out For

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  1. Life is not fair. I have had to be strong so they should stop moaning about things, stop talking about their feelings and get on with life like I have.
  2. People are too sensitive. You have to toughen up in this world. Get over yourself and stop being so offended.
  3. Stop blaming your problems on everyone else and playing the victim.
  4. You got hurt and now we all have to listen to it. Well boo-hoo, I have not got time for this because I am such a strong person with a life.
  5. I live a very productive life and I have learned how to cope. These people need to learn like I have.

These are just a few examples but the underlying message in these kind of statements is to show how immensely strong and able to live the person saying them wants to come across. And I’m sorry but empathy is a huge thing you have from being bullied. Bullying is a trauma, people tend to forget that sometimes. You don’t leave a situation where you have been bullied without scars. You don’t just leave that situation and a couple of months later it’s like it never happened. Sure after a while you move on but those scars remain and while your experience doesn’t define you it certainly shapes certain things about you. Being a human being too going through that trauma you will always have feelings and emotions about the situation. You just will and it is really bullying language to say you are too weak and should really be stronger about these things. In saying that there is an exception and a slight contradiction to what I’m saying because these type of statements are also often said by people who have been bullied themselves. Yes I know I said being bullied causes you to be empathic and that was very much my experience but not all people who are bullied react to their experiences the same way. How I cope with my scars from these type of experiences and from other traumatic experiences is mostly to write my feelings out. When you have all these difficult feelings and emotions you have to find a healthy way to look after those feelings and emotions. But sometimes people don’t do it in healthy ways. That is what the next section is about.

The Subtle Bully

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Some people who have been bullied become bullies themselves. That can be very obvious kind of bullying or it can be subtle. It is the latter I am going to discuss here. Obviously I judge the fact they become bullies because as a person who has faced it, bullying disgusts me. However I also know they are hurt and insecure and they are acting out because they have scars from their experiences that they don’t know how to handle or express. In that way I can feel an empathy towards them because facing that shit is hard. Going back to what I was saying at the start, the mainstream media puts across an image that strength comes from being emotionless and that you totally have everything together. Dog eat dog world again. If you ain’t the person who is strong enough to not talk about your feelings and get on with things then you are the weak and helpless, right? Not really. You can have so much together in your life and still be very in touch with your feelings and emotions. Actually the latter helps you to do the former better. Feelings and emotions and being in touch with those things is not “soft”, “weak”, “helpless” or “overly sensitive”. That mindset is very much a bullying mindset. I’m not saying everyone who thinks that is automatically a bully but a lot of bullies think that and they bully and put people down to prove they aren’t “soft”, “weak”, “helpless” or “overly sensitive”. For a person who has being bullied who reacts this way, it is because they want to be “strong” so as not to bullied again. Who cares if you hurt other people in the process? Sure they shouldn’t be so sensitive, should they? In a way it is a protective shield but it’s a shield born of insecurity and a need to fit the type of person their bully or bullies always said that they should be in order not to be bullied, what the mainstream media always said they should be in order not to be bullied. I’m not saying every person who has been bullied needs to get in touch with their feelings and emotions. That’s just my way. But risking hurting people by being a bully yourself is certainly not the way to go.

Validating Myself

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Why I think I am so in touch with my emotions and feelings is possibly down to the fact that when you are being bullied, you haven’t much time to be. You are coping, surviving and trying to get to the end of this, wondering when that wonderful day will come. You are often so stressed that getting too in touch with your feelings and emotions would probably be more stress. The first experience I had of being bullied was during practically all of my school years and while that was happening I was not as clued up on the aftermath of bullying as I was in my subsequent experiences. Now I know that there is things to unpack and that no matter how confident you are there will still be things to unpack. I did think in the first experience that when all this is over I am going to do so much better in life than my bullies. All that jazz, I am going to be more successful than them. My life will be better and when they see me and how great I am doing while they are living shitty lives and have nothing in their lives they will be so jealous. It was a coping mechanism and it was a bloody good one too. I actually believed it too. But I was young and I know a bit more about life now but that’s taken many years to learn. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t wish them bad because I’m not like that with anyone but less successful and happy than me, sure. It didn’t seem fair to me that they could have everything or more than me and still get to torment me for many years. To the best of my knowledge my life and their lives have been pretty much similar in success and happiness. Maybe in certain ways like with everyone I have had more success and happiness and vice versa. When I realised that or heard something good which happened them which hadn’t happened me it hurt me. Alternatively I was glad if my fantasy came true in a mini way where something good happened me that didn’t happen them. It felt like justice for the torment they caused me and for the scars they left me with. But what I failed to see then and what I see now is that I was given in to that whole idea that being successful, happy all the time and “having a life” was the measure of a person and that if I could be that then it all balanced out and that I was winning the battle. I was winning nothing! Which brings me to a statement to watch out for: People should know life is not fair and get on with it like I do because I am strong enough to. The irony about that statement is that I know it better than most people. Is it fair that people can bully you for most of your school life and yet they get the same out of life as you do? Is it fair that people can bully you for most of your school life and yet they have no scars but you are filled with things to unravel and piece back together? No, it’s not very fair but it’s way things are. So when I hear that statement I’m like yes, I do know it. Only too well. And I have learned to accept that because my life is not about those people anymore or trying to show them how excellent my life is. It’s about me and how I feel about my life and for the most part I am really happy and proud of my life and the person I have become. I don’t need to make anyone jealous, impress anyone or be validated by anybody. I impress and validate myself in a non-cocky way and that’s become more than enough for me.

Capable

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

I have said a lot about the negative of mainstream media in this post but there is progress certainly made from even say ten, fifteen years ago. It’s a work in progress but certainly we are going in the right direction. Lots of people come out of bullying experiences with mental health issues or a lot of scars and the way mental health and emotions and feelings are spoken about is not quite there but it’s improving. I grew up in a time when mental health was even more made a stigma than today. I have known people who had mental health issues who grew up in a time where it was made even more of a stigma than when I was growing up. It is wonderful to see mental health being spoken about more than it ever has been. To hear people sharing their stories and absolutely helping so many people living in silence and helping people feel less alone. People are also more open about their emotions and feelings and we are very slowly getting beyond the idea that having those things is “weak”. I think it is incredibly healthy and I think it is slowly getting to be easier to not have to pretend you are a robot in order to be taken seriously as a capable human being.

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everybody! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Music

First up is the official club music video of Where Did You Go by Jax Jones featuring MNEK. The beat to this song is incredible, definitely so great to dance to and I love the music video. Great atmosphere.

Next we have Regard and Years & Years with Hallucination. Again the beat is so good here and it is a great song to dance to. The music video is great. The dancing is really cool and well put together.

Next we have a classic with Bruce Springsteen and Dancing In The Dark. Excellent track and a great music video.

Next we have Leona Lewis and A Moment Like This. The music video shows clips of her journey to becoming X Factor champion in the UK. Great music video and a great track sung excellently.

Business

Finally here is the last part in Executive Finance’s accounting course and this final lesson deals with how to prepare financial statements. Really helpful as always.

Poem: Change

This poem Change is inspired by Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide. Hope you all like it. 🙂

1.

My life is approaching this new chapter,

I recently turned 32,

people think you have your shit together,

the truth is halfway so,

inside though sometimes I don’t have it all figured out,

muddling through,

surviving,

figuring it out as I go along,

there is still a sense of being like a scared child inside,

what is the next move?

What move do I make next

and am I able for all that will come with it?

2.

I have been afraid of the next chapter,

I have built my life around a different way

and change is daunting,

all these things to figure out,

feeling pressure to know what I’m doing,

everything is so old but so new,

comfortable within the hidden,

hurt within the hidden,

knowing there is a path to follow,

to evolve,

to grow,

to live fully.

3.

I am scared stiff

but I have to be brave,

be bolder in my decisions,

I seen that reflection in my mind

of who I could be just by being me

and it was beautiful,

I understood self love in its purest form

and I refuse to let it go,

I can’t let it go,

change is scary but necessary,

fear won’t suddenly go

but I will embrace my future despite it.

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everybody! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Music

First up we have Jonas Blue featuring Dakota with an incredible cover of Fast Car. I adore the original and am delighted that this is such a great cover. Definitely does it justice. Really cool music video too.

Next up is Chlöe with Treat Me. I adore the message in this song. We all deserve someone who is gonna love us as much as we love ourselves and build us up and not tear us down. Excellent. And the music video is really well done and goes very well with the powerful message of the song.

Next we have Kim Petras with Future Starts Now. This is really catchy, such a bop and the music video is great, creates a great fun party atmosphere to go with the track.

Next up is the Carpenters with Rainy Days And Mondays. Such a beautifully moving song about mental health. Karen’s vocals are stunning. Understated, beautifully done music video to accompany the track.

Business

Finally here is part 3 in the interesting and informative accounting series by Executive Finance. Next on the list to be tackled is posting entries to a trial balance.

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everybody! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Music

First up is the music video for Part Time Lover by Stevie Wonder. I adore the track and I love how all the parts of the music video come together so well to create the story. Great job.

Next up is the music video for Heartbreaker from Dionne Warwick. Simply amazing.

Next we have the music video from Gloria Estefan for Rhythm Is Gonna Get You. This is really catchy, so easy to dance to. Amazing, creative music video too.

Fourth we have Rock Steady by The Whispers. I love the music video and the song is just so good. Their harmonies are immensely brilliant.

Business

Finally for now here is the second part of Executive Finance’s accounting series. This video is all about journal entries. Very informative as always.

5 Videos To Watch This Week On YouTube!

Hi everybody! 🙂

Here is my latest five video suggestions.

Music

First up is Keiynan Lonsdale featuring Project Peters with Ancient One. The music video is just superb and I love the message of the song. It is really powerful. Really excellent, catchy, a great beat to this song.

Next up is an amazing song from Billy Ocean with Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run). Insanely catchy and a really great music video. And those vocals, wow.

Next we have the music video for Leona Lewis’ Footprints In The Sand. This is such a beautiful song and the music video represents the emotion of the track so well. Very moving and beautiful.

Business

I am currently doing a bookkeeping course and I need all the help I can get! 🙂 If bookkeeping and all that is your thing here is the first in a series of videos from Executive Finance and this one is about Debits and Credits. I’ll be soon seeing those words in my sleep! 🙂 Very helpful and informative.

TV

Finally here is the Meet The Queens of All Stars 7 from the RuPaul’s Drag Race YouTube channel. The long-awaited winners show has began and it’s very exciting! 🙂 Really great, interesting video here meeting again the past winners taking part.