First up we have episode 41 in Crash Course’s excellent Black American History series with Clint Smith. In this episode Clint talks about the life and work of Marsha P. Johnson and the Stonewall Rebellion. He also speaks about Sylvia Rivera and STAR. A really interesting episode as always.
Next up we have a really interesting documentary called Hidden & Homeless from the Real Stories YouTube channel. In the documentary Professor Green meets many people experiencing homelessness in the UK.
From the Motivation Thrive channel here is a very inspiring speech by Brené Brown about letting go and not being scared to stand on your own. To find a belonging and peace inside yourself instead of seeking that externally.
Next up we have episode 5 of No Gorge with Violet Chachki and Gottmik. In this episode Violet and Gottmik make Halloween cocktails and discuss Halloween fashion. This episode is a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it’s June, nearly July but hey it’ll get you in the mood early for Halloween so that’s always good! 🙂
Next up we have a video from Einzelgänger about Wabi-Sabi. Up to watching this video I had only really heard the term but I didn’t know what it was about. But it’s really cool and I would love to learn more about Wabi-Sabi now. So many of us try to be so perfect in so many ways and have this life we deem perfect but it is true the imperfect is often better and more perfect so I love this philosophy and this video. The advertising in parts of the video is great too.
I am grateful for my sister Sharon who has always being there for me throughout everything and never lets me down. She has got me through so much and I don’t think I would still be here without her. She has being such a wonderful ally to me in my gender journey. I love her so very much.
2. I am grateful that I have a roof over my head.
I am grateful that I have a roof over my head. Yes, the house is overcrowded and has dangerous wiring but I am grateful for the fact I have a roof over my head because so many do not.
3. I am grateful that I have realised what my gender is.
I am grateful that I realised what my gender is. Yes, there is many new challenges which come with that realisation but I feel a huge weight off my shoulders with this beautiful realisation and I feel like all this confusion has fell away. I am so happy.
4. I am grateful for my place in college.
I am grateful for my offer of a college place in September. I will be studying Social Studies and Community Care in September and I am so happy because I think this course will be the start of an amazing career path for me where I can support many people and have a very rewarding job.
5. I am grateful that my book is going to be published.
I am grateful that my book has been accepted by a publisher and will be released in December. It has been a long time coming! 🙂 I adore writing and I am so grateful for the publisher for seeing potential in my darling book that obviously I adore as it is my baby. 🙂
In this amazing talk Luvvie Ajayi Jones speaks about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable in life so that you can face your fears, unleash your potential and make a difference. This is a really powerful and excellent TED talk.
Next up we have Dalton Harris’ full winning X Factor UK journey from 2018 from Sensatelouist’s YouTube channel. Amazing vocals throughout. I recently watched his journey in this video with my sister and we really enjoyed looking back at all Dalton’s performances.
Next up we have episode 4 from No Gorge with Violet Chachki and Gottmik. In this episode Gottmik goes backstage at Violet’s tour. Very fun.
Next up we have a very relaxing face touching and personal attention video from Knead To Relax ASMR to help you keep calm and to go to sleep.
Finally for today from Great Meditation, we have a 10 minute meditation about gratitude. Recently I have been trying to learn a bit more about practicing gratitude and this is a really relaxing meditation to relax and soothe your mind and help you to practice gratitude.
First up here is a very relaxing video from Knead To Relax ASMR with stress pulling and tapping to help you with tension and stress and become more at ease in your mind. Brilliantly relaxing.
Next up here is an eyebrow plucking asmr video from Hannah from DreamsandTinglesASMR. Amazingly calming.
Next up we have 11 tips from Jay Shetty about how to overcome fear and anxiety. There is so much great advice here. Really excellent.
Next we have the music video for Welcome To The Show by Adam Lambert featuring Laleh. A very well put together, understated music video and I adore the song. The lyrics are just really powerful and I can relate to the lyrics a lot.
Finally for today here is episode 3 in Gottmik’s and Violet Chachki’s No Gorge podcast. In this third episode they react to hate comments about themselves. Another amazing episode.
First up we have episode 40 in Crash Course’s amazing Black American History series with Clint Smith. In this episode Clint talks about the vital role many women played in the fight against racism. He discusses how women had to struggle against both prejudice towards their race and gender and speaks about the role intersectionality played in this struggle. A really informative and brilliant episode as per usual.
Next we have a documentary from Complex News called Stop Killing Us: Black Transgender Women’s Lived Experiences. In the documentary six black trans women speak about the violence and prejudice black trans women face every day. An amazing documentary.
Next we have a documentary from Vice called Living Through Gay Conversion Therapy which shows the abuse which occurs in Gay Conversion Therapy. An excellent documentary.
Currently my sister and I are watching this series of podcasts with Gottmik and Violet Chachki called No Gorge. In this first episode they discuss Violet’s Drag Race looks. Really enjoyable.
Finally for today we have Whitney Houston’s I’m Your Baby Tonight from Welcome Home Heroes. You will definitely find yourself dancing! 🙂 An incredible performance and Whitney’s vocal is just wow.
I think sometimes we can be down on ourselves and be negative about ourselves. I think we aren’t really taught to love ourselves and look at the positive things about ourselves for fear of sounding cocky. But it can be a good thing because there is lots of amazing things about every single one of us and when we think it out we realise that. That’s where the idea for this post came from just in case you thought I was having an ego trip or something. 🙂 So without further ado, I am about to brag. Here is 20 wonderful things about me! 🙂
am a very good singer.
I’m not Freddie Mercury but I can sing. It runs in the family as my Mum would say. I enjoy it. It’s a lot of fun.
2. I love to learn.
I am a major believer in lifelong education. I think there is always something you can be learning. I have completed many online courses and am currently doing a few. I have learned a lot through life, reading, videos and through more traditional education. I adore learning.
3. I am caring and thoughtful.
I like people to be happy and content. People have said I think about little things that make people happy and consider it a very good quality of mine. I like people to be treated equally and with respect. I like to support people I love through things and be there for them. I am caring and thoughtful towards people, animals and insects and I love that I am. No point in being cruel.
4. I am a very good drag artist.
I think there is way better drag artists but I am very good at it. I have been doing it all my life so I have a lot of experience to draw upon! 🙂
5. I can dance.
Look it ain’t completely coordinated and polished but there is definitely rhythm there. The hips can certainly move! 🙂
6. I am a great writer.
Again there is way better but yes I can write and I know it. Writing helps me express myself and I adore creating characters and worlds and I love it to bits.
7. I can do scripted meditations and deliver them well.
I have been told by people I am quite good at this and that they actually do relax when I do it which is cool.
8. I have a good balance between strength and gentleness.
I believe you don’t have to be too hard but I also believe you have to look out for yourself so I make sure I do both in the relevant situations with different people.
9. I am in touch with my emotions.
I always have been in a way but I have been sometimes in the past scared to be too in touch with them. Lately I’m very in touch with them and I’m liking it a lot.
10. I don’t take life too seriously.
I have my serious side when I need to but not everything has to be serious all the time. I can laugh at myself and take the piss out of myself. I like to have fun and a good laugh.
11. I have a very good sense of humour.
People have said this a lot so that’s what I’m going on here.
12. I love adventure and I have a zest for life
There is so much I want to experience and I love new adventures and experiences. I daydream a lot but I also have experienced a lot of great things. I am quite spontaneous and that comes into this. I love that I am.
13. I am determined and hard-working
I work hard towards my dreams. I don’t always get them but I am proud that I try and that I work hard to at least try to make them happen. I would rather they would all happen but I do feel satisfied that I even tried and that’s been honest. 🙂
14. I am very good with technology.
People have said it and I am the go-to in my house for technology. However there is an awful lot with technology I don’t know how to do but I pick a lot up in this regard quite quickly to be fair to myself.
15. I have a lot of courage.
I am brave and I will go for things such as in my writing. Sending to places and that. I also have a lot of courage in terms of fighting through trauma and prejudice I face. Even when I am scared out of my wits I fight and that’s courage. I am a survivor and I know I always survive deep down because there is a lot of courage and a lot of strength within me. That courage and strength protects me and it is a fire which will never go out.
16. I can ride a bicycle.
I haven’t done so in years but I can. I remember learning it when I was a kid, took a while but learned it and I’m pretty confident if I hopped on one in the morning it would come back to me.
17. I can do long multiplication
I include this not because I’m excellent at Maths. Far from it. But that’s kind of the point. I am terrible at them and it took me six years to learn long multiplication so in a way I’m proud of it because I conquered something here which I found really hard.
18. I am a very good listener.
I am a good listener and it’s partly empathy and interest but also partly because I’m not the biggest talker myself. I have heard people value good listeners so it’s a good quality of mine.
19. I arrange things well.
I have been told that I arrange items on tables and shelves and that well. That I’m very neat and creative with it.
20. I love myself.
Yeah, I know someone is probably thinking we know, you have just written a whole blog post about how wonderful you are, you weirdo! Point taken but I definitely do! 🙂 There has been times I haven’t and that makes it so much more wonderful to love myself now. There is nothing and no one who could possibly take that away and that’s a wonderful feeling to have. So yeah, I love myself very much! 🙂
The idea for the following blog post I found on an incredible blog called Chateau Cherie
Dear Teenage Mitch,
What can I tell you about where 32-year-old Mitch is at? Well I have currently completed a lot of online courses. Lifelong learning has become a major passion of mine over so many years so yes my dear you are still an absolute nerd. You haven’t reached all of your goals but don’t fret, that’s a good thing. Yes, you’ve had that whole ‘I’m a failure’ scenario many a time but you are slowly realising that you are young still (Yes I’m young still, stop laughing! :-)) and that it is good to have things still to do, to learn and to come. The future is often fearful but reframing the mind, it can be exciting too. I am doing meditation and affirmations, that’s right. And I sound like it, I know. I know back then you thought life would be a lot different, that so much would have happened by 32 that to be honest hasn’t but I am still content. I wouldn’t change my life. It has made me who I am and I think the thing you would most want to know is are you happy and content? And yes I am. That doesn’t mean everything is perfect but life is never perfect. If it’s not one thing it’s another but the good has outweighed the bad and that’s obviously a good thing. I have my health and my Mum and Sister have their health and your health is your wealth. I want to tell you something I wish I knew at your age because I struggled with it and to an extent I still do because I never fully faced it and I’m beginning to try harder to. You have been told a lot in your life to be someone or other’s perfect version of what they deem to be a perfect version. Right now, you are dealing very well with that but maintaining that can be hard. Right now you are beginning to understand the world a lot for the first time of what it will be like to soon live as an adult in it and that can be scary. So your emotions are a bit over the place, you are at a hundred and that definitely needs to be reigned in quite a bit and you need to think out better ways of communicating your emotions. But reign it in doesn’t mean to lose it. It will always be in you, in your heart but somewhere along the line you are going to suppress yourself to have an easier life and it isn’t healthy. I’m not saying your life is going to be terrible because it’s only one aspect but it’s certainly not a nice aspect you face. You are going to struggle a lot with that because you are going to get into a pattern that you find it difficult to get out of. You are only beginning to claw your way out now in baby steps and that’s ok because those baby steps add up. If it was easy to do it in one big leap you’d have done it years ago. You don’t need to be anyone’s version of perfect outwardly. You just need to be you with all the amazingness and the messiness. You have a good heart Mitch. People tried to tell you you didn’t but you do. You actually care and that’s a really great quality. You are a fighter and that’s a great quality too because there is never any malice in it. It comes from goodness no matter what anyone says and be proud of it. I feel like I’m at several turning points and I am scared I can’t keep up and I wonder sometimes while writing these letters what I can teach you because you are so much more together than I am. But the one thing I can teach you is simply because you haven’t lived as long. That world you are partly fearful about joining is tough at times but you can only try your best in it. Learn to trust your instincts because they won’t be always right but they often are too. Do your best and try as much as you can not to get anxious about whether to trust your instincts or not. Trust them, go with it, live slightly on the edge (slightly, don’t go overboard! :-)) instead of worrying of getting stuck in a routine of holding all your emotions, feelings and opinions in for the convenience of other peoples’ egos. Stop being nervous in time, do your best and live. You have as much right to express yourself as anybody else. Seems basic I know but it’s not what you’ve been told so often. Let your guard down, head held high, confident (even when you ain’t feeling it). It will make you feel a lot more at ease. So as I close off this final letter I want to say I love you with all your amazingness and messiness and I believe in you that you can make many, if not all, your dreams come true. You have already made some of them come true. You have the potential and the power (beautiful power, not twisted power to be clear) within you to do so much. I see the beauty that is within and I see the strength lying with it and we are going to make this work. Thank you for everything and I love you very much.
First up here is a 5-Minute Meditation For Anxiety from Anisa Benitez for Goodful. This is really relaxing and calming. Amazing.
Next up we have a relaxing Plucking/cord cutting session of your negative energy from Hannah from DreamsandTinglesASMR to help you feel better and more content. Brilliant.
Next up we have saxophonist Avery Dixon’s excellent and moving audition on America’s Got Talent where he got presenter Terry Crews’ Golden Buzzer. Simply superb.
Fourth we have Ne-Yo’s music video for Don’t Love Me. I love the storytelling in this video and the song is really great. Everything goes together so wonderfully.
Finally here is Luther Vandross with the music video for I Can Make It Better. I love Luther’s vocal on it and all the harmonies with the backing singers. It all just sounds so wonderful. The music video is very storytelling too and I love that.
The idea for the following blog post I found on an incredible blog called Chateau Cherie
I did the first part of this in lockdown and I was meant to continue but you know life got in the way and all that. However I think maybe that is for the best as right now I probably need to write these letters to my younger self as I think they are really helping me a bit to grow strong enough to take on this whole journey as a trans man so thank you so much Cherie for the idea. 🙂
And now stop waffling Mitch, go …
Dear Teenage Mitch,
I wrote to you last on the 26th of October 2022 (and yes I did look that up because the memory is still as bad as its ever been) and yes you read that right Mitch because that’s your name now. Yes it sounds like a very small dog but get over yourself, it’s your name and you picked it. You are a trans man. You realised on the 12th of January this year 2022. Which means two things: you began living more that day and the party poppers can go off on that day in 2023. But on a serious note I know that you suppressed this so much now that it took you so long to come out of it. There is signs there and please don’t be afraid of those signs. Stop suppressing them. This is a beautiful thing about you and you should embrace it and love it. I’m not going to say that the path is always going to be easy. Currently writing this you are quite fearful about going out into the world and being open about yourself. You are also overwhelmed by the things you have to look into and do. The latter you are taking as much as you can in your stride. The former you are still nervous but you are gradually seeing that courage is not the absence of fear. It is being filled with it and still going for it. A lot of letters or advice for your younger self tends to be the older you advising the younger you and for the most part that’s right because I do know more than you. It’s a fact Mitchy, deal with it! 🙂 But there is so much I can learn from you. You are practically half my age and yet you have so much sussed that I lost along the way. Well it might be still there but it’s not as easy to access these days. I see you going through bullying and part of that bullying is people negatively judging you for being different and you don’t care. Let me explain though, the thing about life and being in the world for a bit longer is that you learn a lot about the depths of hate and how far some people will go to affect you mentally, emotionally and physically. You know a bit about it now but not much and I wouldn’t want you to. With that need to protect yourself comes the fear. Makes sense of course. When you are in danger or you feel you are or might be, the natural reaction is fear. But you don’t have the same level of fear in you right now and mostly all that is coming through is that you don’t care. And there is something for me to learn from that. Fear is not all bad but I see your strength in the face of hatred and I know that’s still within me and when I think of that I know I’ve got this. I owe it to you and to myself now to open up and let people know who I am. You fought to get me here and I will be damned if I let the opportunity you gave me by your fearlessness and your will to survive in a sometimes nasty world slip through my fingers. I will survive, live and more than that succeed and be so incredibly happy. I’m telling you now that you are loved and you will be loved. Now transphobes and bullies won’t love you but that’s a good thing Mitchy. You don’t want to be loved by them believe me! 🙂 And don’t fall for the lies. These people will say no one can love you or similar. Everyone is lying when they say they love or like you, that sort of thing. Those chestnuts. Even people love them. There is people there to love everyone in this world as they are. Love is beautiful and it’s also subjective so people will love and like you as you are. So yeah that’s all propaganda bullshit designed to make you feel bad about yourself. Feel excellent, laugh and move on. You are a wonderful young man and I’m not fully sure you know that but it will come in time. But stop being afraid of change and afraid to be vulnerable. Change is good. Being vulnerable is good. You are strong but you are also fragile. Congrats Mitch, you are human. Be strong and survive but know this too. Being scared and vulnerable does not mean you won’t survive. You always survive. You are going to be ok. I will make sure of that. Finally thank you for helping me see sense and helping me become more ready for what’s to come. I love you.