This poem Worth is inspired by Beggin’ by Måneskin and is told from the point of view of my character from some of my books Mitch. Hope you all like it.
The deluge of anxiety sweeps over me
just at the sight of the two of them sitting at the table,
the two so-called rational cis men
looking at the supposedly childish trans man
like I am a problem to fix,
my determination not to take in their denigrating words
is strong but ebbing away slowly,
their contemptuous feelings hidden behind false maturity,
so much of my life has been battling these two men I love
in a bid to not have my personality eviscerated,
their intricate and subtle mental torture,
I have dreamed of escaping it countless times,
my mind flows to the time I left my home
to be free and happy,
preferring homelessness to the restrictive vibe
with my father and brother,
now my father sits there with my husband Nate
and they are looking at me like I am a petulant teenager
and I’m silently hoping my husband will act like my husband for once,
you would think he was married to my father,
running from one to the other has knocked my vitality down,
I came from a home with tension,
I don’t want my children to,
Nate please help me,
I will do this alone but I don’t want to,
I am broken down,
can’t you see that Nate baby?
Can’t you be like you were at the start of us dating?
Can’t we go back there and be a family who has each other’s backs?
I tried to be the man you wanted but I can’t do it,
our children need to know they deserve both love and respect,
I will fight my father like I always have,
whether you are with me or not Nate
but my mind is going,
if this is how it is meant to be however,
bring it on,
our children are going to know their worth
in a way I didn’t always.