I see a future
where things are different to now,
let the fear go,
let the freedom flow,
you have never known true freedom
you tell yourself sometimes
and you crave it
but you have freedom every day
because you approve of yourself,
that is a freedom which can’t be taken away
but someday,
the fear will reduce
and you will be unstoppable on your path,
I will be unstoppable on my path.
You are cluttering my mind
and I need a spring clean,
you don’t care about me
but I care about me,
you are creating chaos in my mind
and I need to get it to rest,
you make me indecisive
and second-guess,
you make me have to keep the peace
because the hassle is too much to take,
I don’t need to be the keeper of the peace all the time,
no one is paying me to,
you are pressuring me to,
this is going to end.
I knew a person who changed soon after
they found out I was different from them,
we were not friends,
we were never going to be friends
and that was fair enough,
I never wanted to be
and I know the real honest them wouldn’t want to be either
but we treated each other civilly and politely
even as we expressed our differences,
it never got to debates
but I would like to think it would have been just as civil and polite,
however that changed when they realised I wasn’t just opinionated
but instead trans and opinionated,
this person who acts like they are nicer than me
and says all the right things like
‘I would be friends with everybody’,
‘Differences should never get in the way of being kind’,
‘Politics don’t get in the way of me being friends with people’,
can’t even treat a person with the same respect and equality as an acquaintance
when they realise they are trans,
let alone a friend.
Hi everyone! 🙂
Here is my latest five video suggestions.
Relaxation
First up from Mind Body Soul’s YouTube channel , here is more than 100 I Am affirmations for strength and confidence in a session called Be The Tiger. Amazingly relaxing and empowering.
Next we have an advice and pulling and plucking stress away session with Jessica from Reiki Healing Hope. So relaxing and helpful. As always excellent video from Jessica.
Poetry
Next we have an amazing poem called Dreams by Langston Hughes. It is from Charles Belfor’s YouTube channel where Charles reads the poem and adds music to accompany it. Such an incredible poem by an amazing poet and well read. The music works well with it. Really superb.
Drag
Next we have episode 7 in No Gorge with Violet Chachki and Gottmik. In this episode they go to a haunted house and there is a lot of screaming and shouting. They also have great Halloween costumes which they head to the haunted house in. Very entertaining, fun and enjoyable.
Finally for today, here is episode 8 of No Gorge where Violet and Gottmik talk about their Halloween tour and about Violet’s accident on stage during the tour. Thankfully she made a great recovery and was alright. They also show us some videos from behind the scenes on the tour. Really interesting.
Hi everyone! 🙂
Here is my latest five video suggestions.
Sport
Firstly here is the Men’s 100M Final from the European Championships in Munich. Won by Italy’s Lamont Marcell Jacobs, it is a great race with a fantastic run from our very own Ireland’s Israel Olatunde who was 6th and became the fastest Irishman in history. Well done to everyone! 🙂
Next up we have the Women’s 400M Final from the European Championships which was won by Femke Bol from the Netherlands while our very own Rhasidat Adeleke from Ireland finished in fifth setting a new Irish record. Congrats to everyone! 🙂
Social Issues
From The Kumu Hina Project channel, here is a video about the meaning of Mahu. The piece is taken from the PBS documentary KUMU HINA. It is a really interesting video about Hawaii’s third gender, traditions and culture and the history of how US missionaries came to Hawaii and imposed their rules upon Hawaii. Really interesting and informative. So much information even packed in here and I would absolutely love to see the documentary in the future. Amazing animation too. The video was just so beautiful to watch and listen to.
Music
Next up from Gospellin’s YouTube channel is the audio for You Are My Sunshine from 1963 by Little Axe & the Golden Echoes. This song is just amazing. Little Axe’s vocal is really incredible, powerful, just so amazing. Also the harmonies are just stunning.
Dance
Finally for today from Gunesssss’ YouTube channel, here is a rehearsal for the choreography for BeyoncĂ©’s Why Don’t You Love Me. Amazing dancing by BeyoncĂ© and the choreographer who also put an amazing routine together.
Hi everybody! 🙂
Here are my latest five video suggestions.
Relaxation
First up we have a boundary setting affirmations meditation from PowerThoughts Meditation Club. I am currently trying to set boundaries in my life and I listen to this video most days. It is very helpful, relaxing and powerful. The music is very relaxing and empowering along with the affirmations and advice.
Music/Hair
Next up we have an interview from Windy City LIVE with Chaka Khan. In the interview Chaka speaks about her life and career. Her former hairstylist George Robert Fuller also speaks about Chaka’s hairstyles over the years. Really, really interesting.
Music/Theatre/Fashion
Next up we have an interview from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert with Billy Porter where Billy speaks about the ballroom scene, fashion, gender and his career. He also brings some accessories for Stephen to wear and shows Stephen how to catwalk. Really fun and interesting.
Music
Next up we have the music video for Take A Bow by Madonna. The music video is really storytelling and there is a lot packed into the video so concisely. The song is also a great tune.
Poetry
Finally for today, we have a poem by Kahlil Gibran called Do Not Half Lovers on the RedFrost Motivation YouTube channel. Voice-over by Shane Morris, score by Steven Gutheinz and self-portrait by Khalil Gibran. An amazing poem full of powerful and inspirational lines.
Allow the beating of your heart to be calm,
let the sun rays shine lightly on your face,
the wind blowing at your hair,
breathe in all the positivity
and release all the negativity,
the world is your oyster,
you approve of yourself
and there is nothing more you need,
your approval makes you feel calm.
This is the final part in my 12-part series The Inner World Of Bullying.
Putting Yourself Back Out There
Bullying is one of those things which you run away from ever getting into again once you have survived it. It’s like quicksand. Once you get out of it, you are pretty confident you could get out of it again but also having being in it, you are too wise to how emotionally-draining it can be. I know that feeling only too well and yet I am going to disagree completely with it. No, it is not nice to be back in those situations but are you going to let fear stop you, a survivor of bullying, from doing what you want in life? Please, I don’t think so. Look I haven’t figured this fully out and I am still pretty scared of this happening if I am too true to myself so I’m a great one to talk. But still I know there is a strength and fire there within me and within you because you don’t come through bullying and not have a very strong backbone and a deep inner strength. You have already overcome it and you could 20 million more times. You’d rather not but you could. When push comes shove, you are ready even when you don’t think you are. So put yourself out there, be a bit fearless, you can handle bullies. You’re a tough cookie and you have too much experience with people like that to not be able to.
Live Your Life
Where I am at in my own life right now is that I am a bit nervous to put myself out there as me. Trans and opinionated. I think a lot of my fear for doing so comes from my past and part of that is from previous bullying experiences. It’s a weird feeling because on one hand I know I would be defiant and strong in the face of bullying but I also don’t trust myself for some weird reason that I could. And in all honesty I would rather not have that type of a situation happening because it’s a draining and difficult situation to be in. There is so much mind games in bullying nowadays that they would nearly put you down as the bully for standing up for yourself. You nearly would avoid the conflict because of those games. But that’s not really in some ways the right thing to do because they get away with their bullying ways and you are the one who loses out. I’m not saying I am going to run into a situation like that quickly but I think that’s the path I’m going down if I come across more bullies and somewhere along the line I’m sure I will and I am getting myself strong enough to do it. Because I have never let bullies or gaslighters or bigots get me down or stop anything in my life and I don’t intend to start now. I have talked about my own experience there but whatever your experience or approach is, don’t let anyone stop you doing what you need to do. And most of all don’t blame yourself if you can’t get the courage straightaway to do all you want to do. I’m so driven and impatient that I do that sometimes and I shouldn’t.
Traits I Have From My Experience
My experience of being bullied left me with many traits or at the very least added to them. I am incredibly mentally tough. I always think of myself as a robot sometimes because nothing hardly seems to affect me. I think when you’re targeted to be bullied, being liked is not something you worry as much about. I always say I approve of myself and it’s the only approval I will ever need and part of that comes from being bullied. From very early on in my life I knew what it was like to not be liked and more than that to be so not liked that someone would bully you. It gave me very early on a thing of look who’s saying it and take no heed. That led into whoever is being cruel, pay no heed. My experience left me with a defiance and a feeling of you will never bring me down and nobody who tries it ever has. It left me with a love of difference because difference is the main reason people are bullied. It left me with a gentleness for those facing bullying because I know how it feels. It left me with a clarity because I can see through people using bullying to their advantage. It left me with a forgiveness for people because though hard, I forgave those who bullied me and these days it is easier to do so. It left me with an understanding that this is my reaction to bullying but everyone’s reaction is different and none is more right than another.
Why I Created This Series
I started this series for two main reasons. To show the inner world of an experience which is so well known about but often seems to be not known about at all. I also started it because I see people using bullying for their gain who are really bullies themselves. I hope that my series was informative to everyone and most of all that it was helpful to anyone to support them against the bullying so many of us face. You are not alone and you will get through it. Keep your strength up and keep loving yourself.
Affirmations For Those Facing Bullying
Hi everybody! 🙂
Here is my latest five video suggestions.
Social Issues
First up is episode 44 in Crash Course’s Black American History series with Clint Smith. In this episode Clint talks about Rev. Jesse Jackson and Operation PUSH. As always a really interesting episode packed with lots of informative information.
Music
Next we have the music video for Physical by Olivia Newton-John. A really fun video and a great bop. Rest in peace Olivia Newton-John. A true legend and icon. My condolences are with her loved ones at this very sad time.
Next up we have a medley from Rufus featuring Chaka Khan on Soul Train from Paul Ytonne’s YouTube channel. The songs in the medley are Dance Wit Me, Ooh I Like Your Loving, Have A Good Time and Sweet Thing. Chaka Khan’s vocals are as per usual outstanding and you will definitely find yourself dancing to this amazing performance. Excellent job from all involved.
Sport
Next up we have a video about athlete Shelley-Ann Fraser-Pryce’s 100 Meter Record and about all the records she is breaking from Total Running Production’s YouTube channel. The video also speaks about her amazing career in general. Such an amazing talent.
Poetry
Finally for today, here is Maya Angelou speaking about and saying her poem The Mask on the Bobby Jones Gospel show from Russell Jones’ YouTube channel. Gorgeously powerful.
It is very surreal and happy for me to think that CultureVultureExpress is 9 and will be a decade next year. I plan on writing many more blog posts in CultureVultureEpress’ tenth year. I am really proud and my life has stayed the same a lot and changed a lot over the course of that almost ten years and CultureVultureExpress has been there with me all the way. I love this blog so much so Happy 9th birthday to my darling blog and thank to you all for all your support over the 9 years. It’s appreciated more than I could put into words. 🙂
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