Ben Haenow’s Hot Shoot And Interview For Heat Magazine!

The very sexy Ben Haenow from Croydon has been making us all weak at the knees on The X Factor – especially in those tight trousers he wore while singing AC/DC’s classic rock hit Highway To Hell! Oh yes indeed! And his smouldering shoot for Heat Magazine this week would make you go all dizzy in his beauty – well that’s the effect it has on me anyway! 🙂

It is a really good read or maybe I was just took over and blinded by his hotness! In the interview Ben, 29 tells the magazine about his very lucky girlfriend Jessica Jones, how alcohol became a feature in his life to block out the pain of becoming estranged from his dad as a teenager, that kiss on the head with fellow contestant Lola Saunders, his body image issues, sexy tweets from fans, fellow competitor and entertainer Stevi Richie and his own chances of winning the hit ITV show.

Speaking about Jessica he said,

“Things are much more difficult, mainly for her, because I’m here and she’s just getting on with her life.”

On a TV proposal sensible Ben said,

“It would be amazing TV, but it wouldn’t be amazing for me and my girlfriend. No, getting married is something that isn’t going to be dictated by the show. Win or lose, I will get married to my girlfriend.”

About what Jessica felt about that kiss with on the head he gave Lola he said,

“She wasn’t bothered about it, because that same day I kissed a researcher called Ollie on the forehead as well. I am quite tactile. I gave her a call, saying, “I’ve heard this is going to be in the papers”, and she was just like, “I know it’s not anything.” It was stupid on my part. I wasn’t expecting cameras to be outside.”

Speaking about his past with alcohol he said,

“It was just starting to make me ill – people were beginning to notice I wasn’t on top of things. I still have a drink every now and then, but just not as crazy. I didn’t get into any physically dangerous situations, but I was just kind of wandering round in the evenings, at an age that you probably shouldn’t be wandering around. Alcoholic means you have a dependency, and for me it was more of a choice. Alcoholic would be the wrong word. I just used drink to get away from the reality of my life at the time. I’m really blessed at the moment, so I don’t feel like I need to run away from anything.”

On his body image issues (which frankly he doesn’t need to have!) he said,

“People like Jake Quickenden, with his abs, they’re built to take their tops off. I’m just a normal van-driving bloke – the people you see on building sites with their bum-cracks hanging out. Women don’t find that attractive.”

He continued speaking about how he doesn’t feel comfortable taking his top off saying,

“No, I don’t. I think that’s body image issues from been younger.”

But admits the response to his sexiness has boosted his confidence,

“Definitely. It’s an honour to have people saying that stuff, but, at the same time, there are lots of people who don’t like you. You’ll just never be everyone’s cup of tea.”

You are certainly my cup of tea darling!

And speaking of sexy tweets he gets from fans he said,

“There’s the occasional ones, not just from girls but boys as well. It’s as cool as hell, really. I’ve had a few marriage proposals, and some really cheeky stuff that’s too naughty to say.”

Culture Vulture Express seems mild all of a sudden! 🙂

Speaking about Stevi Richie he said,

“I don’t think he gets enough credit for what he does. He gives 120 per cent. He can sing – people need to cut him some slack.”

And speaking about whether he thinks he can win or not he said,

“At the moment, you just have to visualise yourself getting through the next week. You can think about it and have a little taste of it, but you have to take it week by week because the competition is so strong now. If you make the wrong song choice, or sing or say something wrong, you can go out. You’ve got to concentrate week on week, but I like to think I have the tenacity to win.”

Sadly couldn’t find the pics from the shoot on the web to share but do check them out in the mag. You know you want to! 🙂

In the meantime here’s that Highway To Hell performance which I shall rename the Highway To Heaven performance! 🙂 Enjoy! I know you all will! 🙂

Children In Need & Band Aid 30: Charity Fever Takes Over! Yay!

Children In Need has been a TV fixture of my life since I was a kid and I’ve always loved the adorable Pudsey! 🙂

And this year for 2014 the TV extravaganza was out again in full force raising much-needed funds to help children and young people all over Britain with Sir Terry Wogan, Nick Grimshaw, Rochelle Humes, Tess Daly and Fearne Cotton on presenting duties. Throughout the night we seen short clips about the stories of children and young people and causes which the money would help and it’s really heartbreaking to see. It makes you very thankful for your own health and that of your loved ones and really hits home just how important it is that as much money is raised as possible.

Here is five highlights from the many high points on the night! Enjoy! 🙂

The official BBC Children In Need single

The single this year was a cover of Avicii’s Wake Me Up by Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir composing of Mel Giedroyc, Linda Robson, Fabrice Muamba, Nitin Ginatra, Craig Revel Horwood, John Craven, Radzi Chinyanganya, Jo Brand, Margaret Alphonsi, Alice Levine, Larry Lamb and a childrens’ choir. The song has went in straight at number 1 in the UK.

S Club 7 Greatest Hits Medley

I was a huge fan of S Club 7 when I was younger especially album track “Boy Like Me”. Yeah that was on repeat when I was younger! 🙂 So it was lovely to see them back.

Susan Boyle

I just love Susan Boyle’s voice. Amazing as always! 🙂

Tom and Jerry

Here’s a real blast from the past from my childhood! 🙂 The animation is great on this and who doesn’t love Tom and Jerry?! 🙂

Eastenders’ Grease

Eastenders are always very entertaining on Children In Need and this year was no exception!

BBC Song

I love the original of this song God Only Knows by The Beach Boys and I think everyone does a great job on it for a worthy cause. There’s many stars involved including Brian May, Sam Smith, Dave Grohl, Florence Welch, Chris Martin, Jaime Cullum, Chrissie Hynde, Pharrell Williams, Elton John, Emeli Sandé, Kylie Minogue, Ellie Goulding, Stevie Wonder, Gareth Malone, Jools Holland and Paloma Faith as well as original Beach Boys’ member Brian Wilson and a youth choir and orchestra.

For more go to:

To find all the ways to donate to this amazing cause go to:

Meanwhile on The X Factor at the weekend, Sir Bob Geldof made a thought-provoking speech about the new Band Aid 30 song in aid of helping raise funds for the Ebola crisis.

Geldof said,

‘Thanks Simon for allowing us to do this, this is hardcore, to allow X factor nation to do this, it is an enormous production, this thing [Ebola] could arrive here on a plane any time. This is the most anti-human disease but we can stop it, and we will stop it, and we will support those immensely brave NHS doctors and soldiers who have volunteered, and the government who are leading the world on this. At 8am tomorrow morning, for the first time this is about us, buy this thing, buy five by ten, it’s a great track, we wanted to show you the context of how this was done only yesterday’.

The track, Do They Know It’s Christmas?, has a whole host of stars on board including Roger Taylor, Bono, Sinead O’Connor, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, Chris Martin, Guy Garvey, Bastille, One Direction and Olly Murs.

To help you can pre-order the track on iTunes.

Geldof said,

“It’s a song, it’s a track, but it’s an event and the next stage is to turn it into a phenomenon like it was in the eighties. And the only way to do that is to get people to buy the thing. Spare me this free economy. Spare me Spotify and YouTube. There’s a donate button on YouTube. Hit the donate button. It’s a badge of honour to have this on your phone or on your iPod, or whatever the hell you’re using. And don’t buy one, buy several. Give them to your mates.”

View the song’s video here:

But remember to support and please help the cause too if you can. 🙂

X Factor 2014 Ones To Watch!

So The X Factor is into it’s live shows stage and below I have put my top five ones to watch from the acts left in the competition this year!

Andrea Faustini

Oh my god his voice is just outstanding. Though there is some very good singers in the competition this year I think with the right marketing Italy’s Andrea is the only one who could be a worldwide star. You can see it. I’m no expert. It’s just obvious. He’s amazing. Seems so lovely too and he loves pugs. What more could you want?

First Audition

Paul Akister

Paul Akister is back and is sounding amazing. He seems really nice and his personality reminds me a bit of my own. I know he’s been advised to talk more and if he feels comfortable doing that so be it but I think he’s wonderful just as he is and for me anyway is coming across very well indeed!

First Audition

Ben Haenow

Ben seems really nice and is absolutely beautiful and his girlfriend is a very lucky woman! 🙂 Outside of that and back to the singing he is really a really strong singer and clearly very experienced with music. You know instantly that he’s used to doing gigs. I suppose here’s where taste kind of comes into it and while if I’m been honest I think Andrea is a better singer (because let’s face it, it’s really hard to be technically better than Andrea!) I’d be more inclined to buy a record by Ben just based on the fact that I love rock more than diva style pop music and excluding his first audition which was in the soul vein Ben has since been rocking out. I love his style too.

First Audition

Only The Young

They seem nice and Mikey is gorgeous. I like that although their a pop band essentially there is an edge to them that’s bordering on pop/rock. And I love the way they incorporate old songs into the mix unlike a lot of bands do which makes them stand out. I’m an old soul so I love a lot of old music so it’s really cool and their so talented and they gel so well together as a band. Again I love their style too.

First Audition

Chloe Jasmine

Chloe Jasmine has had a lot of negative reactions but I personally think she’s great. Outside of her been posh I can relate to a lot of her personality. It isn’t easy when you’re perceived as different to always be yourself and I think it is incredibly brave of her to go on the show and do that. I think she comes across really nice and I love her style too. I think she has an incredible voice. I think it’s very distinctive although I prefer her singing classic songs than more modern tunes and I think she could have a great career with that kind of music.

First Audition

Who is your favourite act this year? Comment below with your thoughts! 🙂

The X Factor Comes Back To Dublin!


The X Factor auditions for 2014 began in Dublin yesterday for the first time in four years at Dublin’s Convention Centre and I was there auditioning! But more on that will feature on my music blog if you’re interested. 🙂

Executive producer Mark Sidaway advised us wannabes,

“Come with something that’s going to make you stand out from the crowd. If you look at previous successful auditions, people have come out and done something different.”

So many people turned up that the auditions went on for most of the day. It was the first round with the producers present and callbacks were the next day for those successful at the first phase. 🙂

“Cheryl Is Back!”, Confirms Simon Cowell!

Cheryl Cole is returning to The X Factor panel!

Cheryl Cole has returned to The X Factor judging panel, it has been revealed. The 30-year-old Newcastle lady, who previously appeared on the panel and won the show twice with Alexandra Burke and Joe McElderry, was speculated to be coming back during the annual rumour mill.

Simon Cowell tweeted, “It’s official. Cheryl is back. Most importantly she is a brilliant judge of talent.” 

Cheryl has said she is “happy and excited” about her return to the hit show and tweeted a picture of herself pretending to throttle the programme’s creator, with a tweet which read: “Guess what. I’m baaaacccckkkkk.”

Fellow judge Louis Walsh said on his Twitter page: “It’s official. Cheryl is back. Oh no.”

Josh Cuthbert Admits That He Would Have Tried Out For The Voice UK!

Josh admits he would have tried out for The Voice UK if things had not worked out with The X Factor!

Josh admits he would have tried out for The Voice UK if things had not worked out with The X Factor!

Union J’s Josh Cuthbert has revealed that he would have tried out for The Voice in the UK if he had been unsuccessful in his The X Factor bid.

Cuthbert said:

“I would have just kept trying and would’ve done it through any avenue possible. So yeah, I probably would have gone on ‘The Voice’ or something like that, but I’m glad we managed to make it through ‘X Factor’.”

Josh was speaking at Union J’s live set at M&M’s World in London’s Leicester Square where the band sang many of their album tracks including Carry You, Beautiful Life and Loving You Is Easy for an exclusive crowd in celebration of the launch of the shop’s brand new personalised printer service

Josh also spoke about their fans and revealed that he thinks that each of them gets the same amount of attention as each other from their male and female fans.

“I think because we’re all quite different … there’s not one of us that gets more attention than the others, because we all appeal to different people.”, the Union J hunk said.

Simon Cowell Set To Return To The X Factor UK And Louis Walsh Has Renewed His Contract!

Simon Cowell is set to return!

The X Factor UK’s longest standing judge Louis Walsh is set to return!

Simon Cowell is set to return to the UK X Factor after three years judging on the US version which has just been cancelled by Fox. Cowell has been upbeat about coming back. He said through ITV’s press office that he is “absolutely thrilled to be returning to The X Factor UK. It’s been three years since I last judged the competition and I’m excited to find a global superstar again.”

Louis Walsh will also return ensuring that the duo of Cowell and Walsh is set to appear on our screens again. There has been many rumours circulating about who the other judges will be but Cowell said,

“Despite all the rumours, ITV and the producers have not decided on the rest of the judging panel quite yet. You’ll just have to wait and see….”


Sam Bailey and Nicholas MacDonald Reveal Details of Their First Albums!

sam 3

Both Sam Bailey and Nicholas MacDonald have revealed details of their first albums.

Bailey’s album is set to be called The Power of Love and is set to be released on March the 24th featuring a combination of covers and new tunes. Michael Bolton, who recently sang with Bailey, dropped hints that he might do a duet with her for her new album.

Meanwhile MacDonald has revealed that his first album will be entitled, Arms of an Angel and will be released on March the 10th. Feature on the album will include cover versions of Flying Without Wings by Westlife, Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars and Someone Like You by Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’ as well as will three new tunes.

“When I found out that I was signing to RCA I was over the moon as I knew that they worked with some of the biggest artists in the world,” McDonald revealed.

Well done guys! Hope it goes well for you both! 🙂

The Strength of Our Love: Union J, Mostly George and Jaymi Fanfic Part 6!

Here is the sixth part of my fanfic The Strength of Our Love. Hope you enjoy!:-):

Title: The Strength of Our Love

Disclaimer: I don’t know Union J and I’m not saying anything about their real sexualities. What I’m writing is complete fiction.





Jaymi pulled George into the lift after they left rehearsals. He waited until the lift closed before taking George into his arms and kissing him passionately.

“Oh Jaymi, I’ll never get used to that.”

“You won’t have to if you are good to me.”

George smiled at his cheekiness but the truth was that he could be as playfully cheeky as he liked because he had him at hello. George pulled Jaymi towards him and kissed passionately again.

“Oh Mr. Shelley, taking the initiative!”

“Why are we going up to the …”

“I want to show you something.”

“Haven’t you shown me that already?”

Jaymi grinned and held out his hand for George to hold. He took hold of his hand and they walked from the lift to the room. Jaymi opened the door and let George in. On George’s bed lay a bunch of flowers surrounded by petals the same colours as the flowers. Though George wasn’t crazy about flowers his heart melted.

“Jaymi …”, he began.

Jaymi put a finger up to his lips stopping him from speaking.

“That’s not all. Wait there.”

Jaymi rushed into the bathroom leaving George to marvel at how romantic he was. Soon Jaymi rushed back in with some aftershave and squirted a whiff of it onto George.

“Stop Jaymi.”, George laughed.

Jaymi smiled and put the aftershave back in the box before handing it to George.

“And Wait …”

He rushes back into the bathroom again before George can speak again. Soon Jaymi comes back with a hamster in a cage.

“This little fella’s looking for a home. Can you help him out?”

“Jaymi, how did you get him into the hotel?!”

“I snuck him past reception.”

“Is this why you were a bit late for rehearsals?”


Jaymi hands George the hamster in the cage.

“Oh Jaymi thank you.”

“No, it’s fine. You deserve it.”

The hamster is now running slightly around the cage. George notices that Jaymi has supplied the hamster with food and water.

“So what are you going to call him?”


“Really?”, Jaymi laughed.

“Yeah, I mean look at him. He’s quite a debonair, handsome hamster. It fits perfectly.”

“Well thank you. I’ve never had the honour of someone calling their hamster after me before.”

They kiss gently.


Later while they all watched The Big Bang Theory. George and Jaymi were cuddled up in Jaymi’s bed. Everyone was trying to keep their minds off tomorrow night. The quarter-finals of the show. This night would determine whether they made the semi-finals of the show and in the history of the show a lot of acts who managed to at least reach the top four did quite well out of it. However it was playing on all their minds despite their best efforts to shut it out but no one was going to be the one to it bring up to everyone else.

“Sheldon is good in this bit.”, George says.

“Yeah he is.”, Josh agreed.

Then the room fell silent again. Jaymi sensing George’s neaves held him closer. George inhaled Jaymi’s musky odour.


The following night the lads waited backstage to go on.

“Are you nervous Jaymi?”, George asked.

Jaymi was but he wasn’t about to show that he was. Instead he was acting all macho trying to impress George with his bravary.

“No, I’m fine. Come on. We can do it! Let’s do this!”

George smiled knowing that he was nervous but allowing him to believe that he believed him.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

“We’ll kill this thing George.”

“Yeah we will.”, George smiled and rolled his eyes.


After the show the four lads went for a drink together.

“There’s nothing we can do now but wait and hope.”, Josh said.

“We tried our best tonight. We couldn’t have did anything more.”, JJ added.

George put his arm around Jaymi gently.

“You were amazing tonight Jaymi. I mean you were all amazing tonight.”, George smiled causing Josh and JJ to smile.

“You too George. All of you were.”, Jaymi replied before whispering to George,

“I love how tactile you are. I think I need a lot of hugs and your arm around me until this result is over.”

“I’m on hand.”, George whispered back.

When Josh and JJ had went on to a night club, Jaymi and George continued to sit in the pub together.

“I’m nervous about tomorrow’s result. Every week it gets more and more neave-wreacking, doesn’t it George?”

“Yeah. I just hope Dermot calls our name out.”
“So do I.”

George hugged Jaymi.

“If this all ends George will you still want to continue this?”

“This? What?”

“I mean us.”

George is surprised by this.

“Jaymi of course I do. Why would you think that I wouldn’t?”

“Well you know if it ended and the band disbanded …”

“Disbanded? Why? Are you thinking of disbanding?”

“No. Listen to me, all I’m saying is that if things don’t work out, are you still with me?”

“Of course I’d be still with you. I really like you. This isn’t some fling I’m having just to pass the time at the hotel.”

“Good because I feel the same about you.”

Jaymi smiled.

“Look at me gone all sentimental …”

“It’s OK, I like it when you are sentimental. But believe me when I tell you that I really like you and that this completes me. Us, that completes me.”

“You complete me too.”


The following night the band ended up in the bottom two. But made it through. On the way back to the hotel, George and Jaymi were sitting beside each other.

“I feel sorry for Rylan. He was so lovely to us during the sing-off too. Every week this just gets harder and harder.”

“I know Jaymi but he’s going to do so well. He’s going to get presenting and stuff. It’s obvious.”

“Yeah. I mean he’d be perfect at it. Fourth is good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I don’t think we have much chance of getting to the final so we done well.”

“If someone had said fourth to me when I started out in the competition with the lads this year I’d have took it.”

“Me too.”

“Still I would like to get to that final …”
George smiled and cuddled into Jaymi.


Rehearsals for the final began and tensions were running high.

“Josh, what are you doing? We have got to get this right and you are deciding to not even try!”, Jaymi shouted.

“Hey Jaymi, lay off him!”, George shouted.

“Stop George, it’s Ok.”, Josh said not wanting to start a row between them.

“No come on George, continue!”, Jaymi shouted.

“Why don’t you calm yourself down?! Everyone’s trying their best!”

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this for?! I’m not about to stand by and let it go because people are slacking off! I have wanted this for years!”

“Oh please spare me! You are not fifty! You are in your early twenties! I’m sorry old man if things are not working out for because of these so-called slackers! Right now, nobody cares about your worries and emotions so hold it together!”

“Fine!”, Jaymi shouted and stormed out.


That night Josh and George went out together to a night club.

“I need to get away from him for a bit. He’s been all moody because I didn’t go along with him.”, George said and sighed.

“Than you but you didn’t need to defend me. Especially not with Jaymi. I don’t want to cause any problems with the two of you. I know how much you like him.”

“I do but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be a complete puppet for him. I have my own mind. He’ll have to deal with it.”

“Good lad.”, Josh smiled.

As the night went on, George began to get drunker and drunker. Josh was trying to chat up a girl in the club. George went up to the bar for another drink where a good-looking guy was. He was just as drunk as George was.

“Hey, I’m George. What’s your name gorgeous?”

“Oh hi, aren’t you …”

“That guy off the telly? Yeah.”

“I’m Jack.”

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure. Thanks.”


JJ and Jaymi were in the hotel room watching TV.

“I was out of order earlier. I’m sorry JJ.”

“It’s Ok. It’s going to be a crazy week. I’m sure at some stage we’re all not going to be ourselves.”

“Thanks JJ. I hope the others are going to be as understanding.”

“I’m sure they will be. Don’t worry about it.”

“George was so angry with me. Then I got angrier because …”

“Because he disagreed with you.”, JJ smiled.

Jaymi laughed.


“Control freak!”, JJ giggled.

“I know. I can be a bit bossy.”

“A bit?”, JJ smiled.

“Ok! A lot then!”, Jaymi smiled back.

“Apologise to him. He’ll forgive you. Don’t worry.”, JJ said and gave him a hug.

“I’ll apologise to him later when he gets back. And give him a hug.”


Josh went looking for George in the club. He was at the bar with Jack.

“How’s things going with that dark-haired girl?”

“Oh her boyfriend turned up.”

“Oh hard luck!”, George laughed before adding,

“This is Jack. Everyone I meet lately is a J. Isn’t that funny?!”

“Hi Jack, nice to meet you mate. George, we probably should be getting back to the hotel …”

“Back to the hotel?! I’m going back to Jack’s flat.”

“George, you are very drunk …”

“Don’t start Josh. I’m fine.”, George said taking hold of Jack’s hand.

“Think of Jaymi!”, George protested.

But George was leading Jack from the club.

“Oh damn it!”, Josh said and rushed after them.


Back at the hotel, Jaymi was trying to call George.

“He’s not answering JJ!”

“He’s probably having fun. Wait until he gets back like you were going to.”

“But he’s taking so long and I hate this arguing with him. It’s going on too long.”

“Give it time. Stop worrying.”

“I’ll just try him once more.”


Josh sat on the sofa at Jack’s flat fretting. He could hear George and Jack having sex in the bedroom. He knew George would regret it in the morning but what could he do? George was an adult and he could do what he liked. He could see George’s mobile phone light up in his jacket pocket so he took it out of his pocket. Jaymi’s name flashed up on the screen. Josh felt guilty and let the call end. After a while he went to the message section of George’s phone. He didn’t want Jaymi to be worrying about him so he composed a message.

“Hi Jaymi, I’m fine. Just met a mate in town and me and Josh are staying the night. Talk to you soon.”

He pressed send and placed the mobile phone back in his jacket pocket.


The next morning George woke up, wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked around the bedroom. Jack was asleep beside him. Oh my god, thought George. What the hell have I done? He jumped up out of the bed quickly waking Jack in the process.

“Oh hey, morning. Who are you?”, Jack asked before adding,

“Wait a second you are …”

George was throwing on his clothes.

“It doesn’t matter who I am. I have to go!”

“Did we …”

“I’m pretty sure we did.”

“Oh my god, I have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, me too!”, George said rushing from the room.

Josh was asleep on the sofa. George shook him gently to rouse him from his sleep.

“Josh, Josh come on!”

Josh woke up.

“Let’s go so!”, Josh said happily and the two left the flat.

“You didn’t have to stay you know.”

“Oh of course I did! He could have been a murderer for all I knew!”

“Thanks Josh. You are real friend … Josh, I shouldn’t have done that on Jaymi.”

“No you shouldn’t have … Look he was ringing you last night …”

“Was he? I feel terrible.”

“I texted him. Told him as you we were staying at a mate of yours who we met in town.”
“Thanks Josh.”

“Just be careful George. He may appear all strong and macho and able to cope with anything but he can get hurt too.”

The two left the building for rehearsals.


As they arrived for rehearsals they met Jaymi and JJ.

“Guys, about yesterday …”, Jaymi began.

George took him into a tight hug.

“It’s Ok. It doesn’t matter.”

“But it does George, I was wrong. You were right and I’m sorry.”
George held him closer while trying to hold back tears of guilt which were getting stronger and stronger by the minute.

“I’m sorry too Josh.”

“It’s alright mate. I always knew you were a bossy git anyway!”, Josh smiled.

Though he felt guilty too. Knowing it and not saying anything. But he was caught in the middle. He felt he couldn’t say anything and yet he was guilty as hell for not. He looked at JJ and envied that he didn’t know what happened last night. He wished he didn’t.

More soon! 🙂

The Strength of Our Love: Union J, Mostly George and Jaymi Fanfic Part 3!

Here is the third part of my fanfic The Strength of Our Love:

Title: The Strength of Our Love

Disclaimer: I don’t know Union J and I’m not saying anything about their real sexualities. What I’m writing is complete fiction.

The four Union J boys sat in the local fast food joint having their dinner. George watched how awkward Jaymi was. He didn’t want to make him feel like this. Uncomfortable. But he didn’t know what to do. He knew he should back down. Jaymi had a boyfriend after all and he knew though it would be hard he would if he thought that Jaymi didn’t feel the same way as he did. But that was his problem right there. He wasn’t sure that Jaymi didn’t feel the same. In fact he knew that there was something there. And that’s why he couldn’t give up on him. On them. On the chance, however slim it may be, that it could be them. As he watched Jaymi, he could see Josh watching him out of the corner of his eye. Oh, would he ever mind his own business?!, thought George.
“I think I’ll have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch tonight. Does anyone else want one later?”, JJ was saying.
No one answered. They were all clearly wrapped up in their own thoughts but JJ didn’t mind. He just let it go.
Then the door clicked open and George and JJ could see Olly come in. Josh and Jaymi were sitting the other side and couldn’t see him. Olly made a sssh sign putting his finger to his lips. George rolled his eyes. Why did he have to be here?! He’ll throw a spanner in the works for me and Jaymi!, he thought. He watched as a smiling Olly crept up behind Jaymi and put his hands over his eyes.
“Guess who?”, he smiled.
Jaymi instantly turned around and hugged him tightly.
“Olly! What are you doing here?!”, he said excitedly.
“To see you. I miss you and I hadn’t work today so I said I’d come down and see my boy.”
“Oh Olly, I have missed you so much too!”
“Good. Well you know what I mean.”
They kissed gently and cuddled. George was looking out the window and Josh was looking at him sympathetically.
“Hey boys. You all well?”, Olly asked as Jaymi shoved up slightly on the seat to let him sit down.
They all replied that they were. Though Josh could clearly see that George was not happy at all.

Back at the hotel Jaymi and Olly went up to the room and the other three boys sat in the bar to give them some privacy.
“It was great Olly came down.”, said an oblivious JJ.
“It was.”, Josh said trying not to say too much to upset George.
“He’s been so down lately. He must miss him terribly.”
“Yeah JJ, he must.”, Josh replied.
George kept quiet throughout all this. He was so jealous of Olly and it was driving him crazy.

Jaymi and Olly lay in bed kissing and breathing heavily after making love.
“I love you Jaymi.”
“I love you too Olly.”
“Do you?”
“I do. Of course I do. Why would you ask me that?”
“You haven’t called me as much lately.”
“Is that why you came to see me?”
“I did want to see you but I was worried too. Jaymi is there … Is there someone else?”
Jaymi didn’t answer and Olly started to get out of the bed. Jaymi quickly caught his arm and pulled him back in.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Then talk to me. What is it like?”
“Nothing’s happened.”
“But you have feelings for someone else?”
“I don’t know.”
“Jaymi, are you falling out of love with me?”, Olly said sitting up.
Jaymi hesitated.
“No! No, I’m not!”
“It’s Ok Jaymi. Just be honest with me.”
Jaymi sat up beside Olly and put his arm around him gently.
“It just happened. I didn’t want it to. We did kiss but he kissed me. To be honest though I liked it. And it took me a while to shove him away.”
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Do you love me?”
“Olly just stop.”
“If you don’t just tell me Jaymi.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you either and I love you far too much to see you hurting. Yes, I want us to be together. The idea of going home knowing that me and you isn’t going to be anymore kills me but more than that I don’t want you to be unhappy so if you love this guy, just say. Just tell me.”
“I am so lucky to have you.”, Jaymi said taking Olly into a hug.
As they hugged Jaymi continued to speak,
“I have falling quite hard for him. I haven’t known what to do about it. The last thing I want to do is upset you. We’ve been through so much.”
“It’s Ok Jaymi. It’s Ok. I understand.”, Olly said wrapping his arms around him.
“This is not about the band or the success. I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s just …”
“You happened to meet him at the same time?”
“Yeah. That’s exactly it.”
“Is it George?”
Jaymi was taken aback. How did he know that?
“Yeah. How did you …”
“Oh come on Jaymi it isn’t rocket science. George joins the band. The two of you are living here in such close proximity. The way you looked at each other today. I can work it out. You used to …”, Olly trails off but Jaymi knows what he was about to say and doesn’t press the issue. He was about to say that Jaymi used to look at him that way. Instead Jaymi hugs Olly tighter.
“You are absolutely amazing.”
“I’m not really. I just want you to be happy.”

George sat in the lounge texting on his mobile phone when Jaymi and Olly came down in the lift. They got out and walked past him to the door and walked out together laughing. They were so at ease together. He hated seeing them so happy and at ease together. So in love. He hated it. And he made the decision there and then that he had been thinking of for quite a while now. He knew he had to leave the band. It was a really difficult decision for him to come to. This was all he had ever wanted. Granted he was only 19 so it wasn’t like it had been this immensely long time but for the majority of his life this had been what he had wanted. And to let this massive opportunity which was so grateful for go was really difficult. But it wasn’t half as difficult as seeing Jaymi with Olly, as going through the struggles and the pain of not been Jaymi’s boyfriend. It was so hard been in the band with him while these feelings escalated and grew stronger and stronger all the time. No, he knew now was the time to leave. He just had to tell the other boys now, their manager, The X Factor producers and Louis.

More soon! 🙂