Friday Fictioneers: On The Boat

 

 

 

 

 

On The Boat

 

Piero waited on the boat. His breathing was heavy. His leg was shaking involuntarily. Soon a person would arrive. He hoped he would remember all Giovanni told him to do when this first mysterious person arrived …

 

Piero felt his heart beat. He was nervous and trying not to show it.

“Is this boat free?”

He stopped thinking, turned and smiled warmly at a group of three people,

“Good Morning. It is. We cover much of the city of Venice here at Venice City Tours. My name is Piero and I will be your guide today. May I ask your names?”

 

 

My book Black Coat based on a previous Friday Fictioneers prompt is available at:

 

 

For Friday Fictioneers Writing Prompt. Check out the website at:

https://rochellewisoff.com/

 

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30 comments on “Friday Fictioneers: On The Boat

  1. Dear Lisa,

    Like so many of us, Piero puts on a good front for the public even though he’s not feeling it inside. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. draliman says:

    Not a smuggler then, just the first day of a new job 🙂

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    He’ll be fine, if he forgets anything he can just make something up, the tourists won’t know any different! 🙂

  4. Dear Lisa,
    You left a lot to the imagination here by injecting the word “mysterious.” It left me wondering if these three are the right party, or was he supposed to carry someone else? Either way, his anxiety came through loud and clear.

    • lisarey1990 says:

      It was really a story of first day at work nerves Russell but I deliberately wanted to leave the reader wondering till the end but a twist in the tale that they weren’t who they were supposed to be would be interesting. Thank you for reading. 🙂

  5. Alice Audrey says:

    I was so sure it would be a cloak and dagger story. Wait. It still might be.

    • lisarey1990 says:

      Yeah, I think I combined my love of Agatha Christie & James Patterson with the fact I started a new job Monday last. While essentially it was a first job nerves story, that would be a great twist on it & make it quite interesting! Thank you for reading. 🙂

  6. Dale says:

    It felt like it was his first day on the job and that everyone would be mysterious to him!
    Well done, Lisa.

  7. ellenbest24 says:

    A trixy write right here. Well done.

  8. plaridel says:

    i guess he found an excuse not to meet the mysterious person by taking the tourists on board. 🙂

  9. jillyfunnell says:

    I like the way we think he is a passenger then we find out he is the guide. The customers’ instant confidence in him will give him the courage to do a good job and by the end of the tour he will be a happy man. And he will get tips!

  10. Sandra says:

    It’s amazing how so much can be read into this piece. Well done.

  11. The first days on a new job can be stressful and anxiety producing.
    I felt it all as I read your story. Nicley done …
    Isadora 😎

  12. pennygadd51 says:

    A story with many possibilities. I wondered whether he was standing in unofficially for his brother, but there are lots of other storylines too. I liked the way you wrote “His leg was shaking involuntarily.” Just the one leg. Really specific piece of detail that helps the reader believe the story.

  13. notestowomen says:

    Nicely done story. Different from what I was expecting. Instead of cloak and dagger, it was Piero’s first day on the job jitters.

  14. granonine says:

    I remember feeling that way more than once! Good description

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