Taline & Sirvat
Every day Taline wondered where they had taken her little girl Sirvat. Sirvat had been born with Down Syndrome. She had been taken away to an institution three years ago. Since then Taline had been endlessly trying to find her. As she washed the dishes her tears mingled with the water. It had just been the two of them since Taline’s husband had upped and left when he realised Sirvat had a disability. Taline remembered how she and Sirvat would go to the park and feed the ducks, how she would read her daughter bedtime stories and they would watch TV together with popcorn.
She is a bright, wonderful girl. How dare they just take her away like she should be hidden away? They are stopping her childhood with me and her bright, wonderful future. Why couldn’t I protect her from these vultures? I’m her mother, she depended on me.
In response to the What Pegman Saw writing prompt:
https://whatpegmansaw.com/2018/05/26/what-pegman-saw-armenia/
culturevultureexpress 
Your story is both beautiful and sad. People can be so kind and others so cruel.
Thank you for reading Alicia. 🙂
Such a sad story.
Thank you for reading Dale. 🙂
Oh no, so tragic.
Thank you for reading Karen. 🙂
Dear Lisa,
This is a very sad tale and I felt for this poor mother.
Having said that I feel it would be a disservice to you not to point out glaring grammatical errors. I apologize for being such a grammar Nazi. And you may feel free to tell me to back off.
In the first sentence “…had took” should be “had taken.” And she “had been took” just a couple of sentences away should be “…had been taken…” Thirdly “Taline remembered how her and Sirvat…” should be “…SHE and Sirvat.”
It may seem nitpicky to point out these things but I stumbled over them and they took me out of the story. I feel as authors we owe it to ourselves and our readers to do the best we can with grammar. As I said, it’s your prerogative to tell me to back off and I will.
Aside from those things, you’ve written a poignant story that touches the heart.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I have to agree with Rochelle. While the story is basically a good one, the grammatical errors, hurt the flow…
Have fixed them up Dale. 🙂
Rock on, Lisa!
Kudos to you for accepting this constructive criticism. Not everyone is so positive.
No, thanks so much for your advice. Constructive feedback such as this is very welcome Rochelle. Have fixed up the few little errors. Thank you so much for reading. 🙂
So much better, Lisa. 😉
A tragic story
Thank you so much for reading J. 🙂
So heartbreaking to be separated from your child. A tragic tale
Thank you so much for reading Lynn. 🙂
My pleasure
Dear Lisa
You’ve constructed this story carefully. You make sure we know who the characters are and what has happened. There are some excellent images – I very much liked the tears mingling with the washing up water – I could imagine that vividly. You have chosen the small details of Taline and Sirvat’s life together thoughtfully, so they become believable people with identities to which we can relate.
Well done!
With best wishes
Penny
Thank you so much Penny. 🙂