For some reason they noticed me,
Like I had a target on my forehead,
I’m presuming it was because I was different,
I read a lot and not a lot was said.
But I don’t know what was really going through their minds,
When it was decided to change my life.
To try to cut into my heart with a knife
And to make us stand on either side of these enemy lines.
Whatever the reason their motives were clear,
We were both here
And they wanted to cause me to shed a tear
As they continued to mock and jeer.
In a way I have a lot to thank them for,
That’s not excusing their ways,
But now I’m a survivor to my core
And shall be until the end of my days.
In other ways I became more in on myself,
I was always shy and that was grand
But I became more so.
Scared that me was too eccentric,
Made to feel like it would be easier to shut-up.
Different clearly wasn’t the attire.
In a way I’m still like that today in personality
Although I care less what people think.
I often read about shy people that they are too self-aware,
But it’s hard to be
When in your formative years people went out of their way to make so.
An outsider would say in a superior tone let it go and past is past,
But in reality it’s difficult to break that shield,
A shield that protected and almost destroyed you all at once.
It’s best to go piece by piece
And just peal and peal.
I feel no hate now.
I did for so long,
Especially for the leader
Who all through school made me feel less freer.
I fought and I fought but he didn’t make things easy,
I like to think that my resilience and strength didn’t either.
All I know is that I’ve long since moved on,
But the scars are still there.