He seemed to say so much that I held back,
No fear of ridicule,
Confidence in speaking he certainly didn’t lack,
He was all at once rather nerdy and cool.
Stirred my mind, my heart and soul,
The pain taking it’s toll.
Somehow it felt easier when I didn’t know you
And I was just some girl on the dole.
But oh how I would have that pain all over again,
Your voice more beautiful than that of a wren,
I hung on your every word,
You made me feel alive,
Just knowing you,
Knowing that if things were mutual I would be true.
Knowing that even as career girl
You had me caught up in a knot or a curl.
You included me with been patronizing,
I’m so used to people analyzing,
Oh she’s so shy and needs our help
Or getting bored of trying to get me to speak more.
You did neither
And that went straight to my core.
That feeling of not been put in the shy box,
Of just been treated the same in some kind of life defining detox.
You opened a heart that had been locked,
The kindness oozing from you oozing through me.
I never knew someone like you could be real,
And babe that is a big deal.
For someone to allow you to feel,
To feel what love is for the first time
And make your whole being chime.
My whole being was rocked.
And yet there was pain,
Love and pain together in the one frame.
I knew it could never be us,
But I had too much respect to cause a fuss.
You didn’t deserve that
Due to this lovesick cat
But it didn’t mean that my heart wasn’t bruised and happy at once babe.
To you my heart was simply a slave.